Change

When most people would carefully draw back,
I'm quickly racing forward
with my flaw of impatience at my side.
One step further and I could risk it all.
I'm constantly afraid to know where the boundary is,
for fear that you would leave if I crossed it.

Long ago I asked for patience,
but you quickly grew impatient
as my focus directed elsewhere and overshadowed
my feelings for you.

Love had only been a mere thought
because all that I had been taught
was to push away and avoid the topic.

William Shakespeare wrote,
"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.
It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests
and is never shaken.
Love alters not with times brief hours and weeks,
but bears it out even to the edge of doom."
Love cannot be true if it changes for any reason;
Realizing that love isn't perfect and has its faults.

Days can go by without letting the tears,
I had once willing unleashed, fall into place.
Fake smiles and half laughs
are all that come out of me.
The feeling of a knife stabbing me
in a million different places.
Wrapping my arms around my torso,
I struggle to hold the pieces in.
Now the pain is just a numbness.
Like a constant ache that's so strong,
eventually I might forget about it being there.

I was always afraid of change,
and sometimes I still am.
Never sure how to react to everything
that was once a stand-still,
now crumbling to the ground.
Now I take it head on.
A promise of change,
as long as it's with you.