A Journey Through Hope

by yblehs   Jul 9, 2010


A girl so innocent and young,
A boy so true that it sung,
Crossing paths between all among.
It was uncertain to what would be brung.

So sweet and beautiful in the same.
A love grew wild, uneasy to tame.
No one could stop it, no one to blame.
A spark ignited into a flame.

As quick as it had started at first,
Distance became a burden that burst,
The time ticked longer and made it worse.
The pain became real, too bad to nurse.

It broke all apart into pieces.
The wrinkles were worn, so were the creases.
A love like that just doesn't cease.
Just can't let go, just can't release.

It ended but they still remained,
Didn't leave and didn't refrain.
Confusion was enough to drive them insane.
Time went on and it all began to rain.

Neglection isn't a sign of affection.
But it was the cause of the disconnection.
It was all blow up into a bigger complication.
There was a large lack of communication.

Lost it all in the blink of an eye.
Couldn't handle the though of goodbye.
Best friend. Everything. Her guy.
A thousand miles away before it could die.

It was noted he couldn't be there.
Because it wouldn't be fair.
For him. For her. He couldn't care
Too much. It'd make his heart tear.

He'd always have feelings for her he said.
So there'd have to be a stop before on he led.
She deserved better, but her heart stayed fed.
She couldn't let it go, couldn't leave it dead.

Insisting, denying the fact that was real.
Too much to handle, she simply couldn't deal.
Overwhelmed in heart and mind, couldn't feel.
The situation was final. Their destiny up a hill.

At first, things were hard and tough.
Couldn't comprehend, just had enough.
Time went on, and it got less rough.
She no longer had to fake and bluff.

"Timeless memories were made without you.
Didn't think it was possible when you were my glue.
Lessons and all came without your cue.
It all happened, but deep down I was blue."
These thoughts in her mind, running through.

Eight months came and went with no word.
But then it happened, flew in like a bird.
Out of no where he came back, her vision blurred.
She couldn't quite get it, but felt reassured.

Something new had been created again.
Much time had passed, unsure where to begin.
Her friend was back, and so was her grin.
They both learned from that wretched sin.

Regret was quickly replaced with a bigger feeling.
Determination assisted in all the healing.
They'd work hard to keep it from pealing.
Glad they knew their mistakes, thankful while kneeling.

In their lives, others came and went out.
Their fidelity, you could never doubt.
Came to each other when all they did was shout.
Didn't fall short. Didn't stray from the route.

Flying high with their wings not failing.
Easy as a breeze, smooth as sailing.
Didn't watch their steps like balancing a railing.
Their sky was clear, not thick like hailing.

Without her notice, something began to grow,
From the way she smiled, it began to show.
Something more, that revealed itself very slow.
It was just natural, a part of the flow.

It grew and grew until he felt it as well.
Soon there was nothing the couldn't tell.
Being so incredible, he made her heart swell.
She tripped and into his arms she fell.

Now at this very moment, it's where it's supposed to be.
Except they both can't make the next step that's key.
Better than before. Better than what they'd see.
It was worth the hurt. Because now it was free.

Neglection isn't affection. But for them it's where it went.
They felt a lot of emotions, but it feels Heaven sent.
Even though their hearts were left in dents,
They were glad to where it led, a new bent.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Such a beautiful and creative piece indeed. I wasn't bothered by the length because you kept me interested the whole time. I loved way it flowed together like a story. Very well done. Nik

  • 13 years ago

    by chind

    That was a reallly long piece, but i really enjoyed reading it Like pingu said, i too thought that at times the rhyming seemed a little forced, however still a good piece. good work!

  • 13 years ago

    by WakingFreedom

    A write of love and then loss and then love again. I thought it was good, some lines were long, a few stanzas seemed forced in rhyming. It was a beautiful write, just needs a little tuning. You've got great story going and i thought it was awesome. Nice job done.

  • 13 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This is pretty well done for the most part, the flow isn't perfect but its not bad. I think adding or subtracting a couple small words in key places will make this piece much stronger. I think if you read this over a few times you'll find spots where words aren't really needed or could be changed to help with flow. for ex.

    "Something new had been created again.
    So much time had passed, they didn't know where to begin.
    Her friend was back, and so was her grin.
    They both had learned from that wretched sin."

    Just going to switch some things around to give you an idea.

    Something new was created again,
    Much time had passed, where to begin,
    Her friend was back, so was her grin,
    They've both learned, from wretched sin.

    Something like that..... You're a great writer and as you continue to progress you'll learn little things along the way. You have massive potential and I hope to read more from you in the future. You did an excellent job with the rhyming, but be careful you don't get to carried away at times. Nicely done 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This is really nice. I like how you changed the tune -- love, loss, and love again. It's cute.

    I do think it could be better with a better choice of vocabulary -- it's just a bit too simple. The rhymes are okay, but some of them aren't quite perfect rhymes, and some of them are. Not a big deal, just something I noticed.

    "He'd always have feelings for her he said.
    So there'd have to be a stop before on he led -
    Her. Deserved better, but her heart stayed fed.
    She couldn't let it go, couldn't leave it dead."

    * The first line doesn't flow very well, in my opinion, because you added the "he said" at the end. I see why you did it, but it disturbs the flow a bit. Also, I don't get the second and the third line.. they don't go together. "..before on he led - Her.." I just don't get it.

    Other than that, I think it has great potential. Good job.

    Five out of five. [5/5]
    `Briana (: