Flower

Nicko...I am out of words..but let me say what I have about this masterpiece !

My heart, not merely a tempestuous thing
Nor inarticulate of rhythm
More a flower awakening
Gentle, fresh and clean
>>>this stanza..being your first stanza is just admirable...my god very tender..the opening line..brought the subject on stage in a very professional way . The 3rd and 4rth line are extremely pure, lovely and poetic. Brought me such a very nice image..

Young, blemish less
Unfolding, it strengthens
Bursting in full blossom
Blazing for many moons
>>>wow..really this is fantastic..i have no read something that much sweet b4..knowing that your heart is the nail which these words are PERFECTLY hitting!..the words u used no bet are getting along in a very talented way..Esp that the title is self relates WELL.

Till>gave me a sad feeling..

Faltering at its zenith
Subsiding perceivably
Craggy brown edges appear
Surround its pulsing core
^^a very strong stanza.
Trust me, this is mastered..i love the 1st line
tho i must admit the word zenith is new for me.. but thanks at least learned lol XD..

To wither, falter, die
Leaving behind a sprig of hope
^^^here i felt like am at loss of words..and expressions and i didnt knw what was I to say about this part.. very original!! not heard it b4..WELL DONE
Within the fallen seed
Full of promise

Tis there we lay our dreams

>>wow...i loved the ending line...u have wrote all this amazing strong coherent piece..and then left for us such a very thought provoking conclusion.. and a very true one..yes it is there were we lay our dreams :).
> tho i would suggest u to say my dreams..since it was more personal at the opening..but its ur poem..u know better :)

5/5 no heck!

Nicko...I am out of words..but let me say what I have about this masterpiece !

My heart, not merely a tempestuous thing
Nor inarticulate of rhythm
More a flower awakening
Gentle, fresh and clean
>>>this stanza..being your first stanza is just admirable...my god very tender..the opening line..brought the subject on stage in a very professional way . The 3rd and 4rth line are extremely pure, lovely and poetic. Brought me such a very nice image..

Young, blemish less
Unfolding, it strengthens
Bursting in full blossom
Blazing for many moons
>>>wow..really this is fantastic..i have no read something that much sweet b4..knowing that your heart is the nail which these words are PERFECTLY hitting!..the words u used no bet are getting along in a very talented way..Esp that the title is self relates WELL.

Till>gave me a sad feeling..

Faltering at its zenith
Subsiding perceivably
Craggy brown edges appear
Surround its pulsing core
^^a very strong stanza.
Trust me, this is mastered..i love the 1st line
tho i must admit the word zenith is new for me.. but thanks at least learned lol XD..

To wither, falter, die
Leaving behind a sprig of hope
^^^here i felt like am at loss of words..and expressions and i didnt knw what was I to say about this part.. very original!! not heard it b4..WELL DONE
Within the fallen seed
Full of promise

Tis there we lay our dreams

>>wow...i loved the ending line...u have wrote all this amazing strong coherent piece..and then left for us such a very thought provoking conclusion.. and a very true one..yes it is there were we lay our dreams :).
> tho i would suggest u to say my dreams..since it was more personal at the opening..but its ur poem..u know better :)

5/5 no heck!

Nicko...I am out of words..but let me say what I have about this masterpiece !

My heart, not merely a tempestuous thing
Nor inarticulate of rhythm
More a flower awakening
Gentle, fresh and clean
>>>this stanza..being your first stanza is just admirable...my god very tender..the opening line..brought the subject on stage in a very professional way . The 3rd and 4rth line are extremely pure, lovely and poetic. Brought me such a very nice image..

Young, blemish less
Unfolding, it strengthens
Bursting in full blossom
Blazing for many moons
>>>wow..really this is fantastic..i have no read something that much sweet b4..knowing that your heart is the nail which these words are PERFECTLY hitting!..the words u used no bet are getting along in a very talented way..Esp that the title is self relates WELL.

Till>gave me a sad feeling..

Faltering at its zenith
Subsiding perceivably
Craggy brown edges appear
Surround its pulsing core
^^a very strong stanza.
Trust me, this is mastered..i love the 1st line
tho i must admit the word zenith is new for me.. but thanks at least learned lol XD..

To wither, falter, die
Leaving behind a sprig of hope
^^^here i felt like am at loss of words..and expressions and i didnt knw what was I to say about this part.. very original!! not heard it b4..WELL DONE
Within the fallen seed
Full of promise

Tis there we lay our dreams

>>wow...i loved the ending line...u have wrote all this amazing strong coherent piece..and then left for us such a very thought provoking conclusion.. and a very true one..yes it is there were we lay our dreams :).
> tho i would suggest u to say my dreams..since it was more personal at the opening..but its ur poem..u know better :)

5/5 no heck!

A very good write, although, I found a little emotion was almost lost in the harder vocabulary of your descriptions. Still, I liked this.

I really enjoyed reading this, it was beautifully written and and beautifully imaged, i really cant think of many ways to make it better. both "Till" and the final line "Tis there that we lay our dreams" were EXTREMELY powerful lines, and you should be proud of this work as a whole. my only concern is that the message that beauty withers, and passes onto posterity is mildly cliche, but honestly art can esily be making new things out of old materials. all in all, well done, you've probably made my favorite authors list