They Asked Me Why I Believe In You

"Your words crawled from the beats of my heart,
and ran with the heat of my blood toward
the tip of these fingers.
Lingering your presence with me
if even over a journal..
For I had you roving with joy inside
my head today.
Just like the day before it,and the day before."

^^^ Just something that Word picked up, there should be a space in between the comma and and in the fourth line. -> "it, and". But once again, I love the way you started it off. "For I had you roving with joy inside my head today." Ahhhhhhhhhh. I loved that. "Roving" I really liked that you used that word, it interests me.

"Drawing a smile on my face I recalled
precious moments;like when my heart leaps
the second my eyes catch your face.."

^^^ Something else Word picked up, add in a space between the semi colon and like. What a great stanza. This reminds me of what I feel like now. Way to go with being able to make others relate to your poem. That is always a plus.

"How your presence makes me passionate,
how through your absence I turn to
be a poet who knows precisely how and what
she longs to say.."

^^^ Hmmmm. I don't know what to say about this one. "How through your absence I turn to be a poet who knows precisely how and what she longs to say.." I know, I quoted basically the whole stanza, but that really stood out to me. Love makes you do crazy things.

"Dipping my pen into these emotions
that are beating insanity beyond
control;beyond distance."

^^^ Another thing word picked up: a space between the semi colon and beyond.
:D Great job. This whole stanza is great. It flows very nicely, and the words you chose were astonishing.

"For if a bit of time is not enough for us
to know each other, then neither would
eternity be adequate.
My beliefs and faith in you already
crossed the barrier of knowledge,
and the illusion of time."

^^^ The first three line are breathtaking, and so are the last three. Oh wait. I just told you the whole stanza. :P It's my favorite in the poem. It just is, I can't really explain why, other than it's breathtaking, and the words and how it flows was AWESOME!

"And I remember that in my dreams I have
traveled some green miles, and some other
flowery ones to reach you.
The sun never departed the sky then-
and the breeze gently held me all along this journey;
even when I came back to reality.."

^^^ The picture you described here was amazing, it leaves me speechless.

>Yes, I found heaven there.

^^^I'm wondering why there is ">" placed in there? But I really like how you formatted this.

"Still I had you roving sweetly inside
my heart today, just like you never
had before..
And it only took few more words from
your heart to gain my trust-
no my whole attention too
Yet they asked me why I believe in you!"

^^^I love the way you ended it. It's as simple as that.

Getting something off my chest, before I go into commenting on each stanza: the title of your poem is intriguing, very, very, intriguing. I hate that I feel like I comment all the same things on your poems, Rania. I really do. I just can't help it, all your poems make me speechless, make me ponder, and amaze me that it's so hard to find something GOOD to say about them. You have no idea.
Keep writing,
5/5
-Erna

I will try and give you a good comment but I am not all that great at them. :P Anyway, back to your poem. I believe the opening was not as powerful as it could be. You are so creative and like Britt said you have a way with words that is powerful but I didn't notice it so much in the first stanza though there were parts that I liked such as-

"Lingering your presence with me
if even over a journal.."

One thing I thought unnecessary was when you said "Just like the day before it, and the day before." I think you should take out the "it" as it isn't all that important.

The rest of the poem is fair ,I guess, as it does give off the message that you want the reader to know, it's just that you have crafted wonderful pieces before and yet I am not getting that overpowering feeling of emotion and depth that your other poems give off. This isn't to say you didn't have unique lines in this poem, as I did find several good lines throughout the poem.

As Britt said already ,as well, I found the lines breaking off was really messing up with the overall flow of the poem. And to end it all. I would have to say that you did an overall good job with this poem, but as all poems there is room for correction. Good job and keep writing.

Lol, I have no criticism this time, Nana. All of it made perfect sense and it is "you" :)

You are best at this free verse, a million times better than at rhyming ones, somehow I can see your soul in these verses, while I can't when you try to rhyme, it seems like when you do, you place words for the sake of rhyming.

This is an A plus in my book:)

If a bit of time is not enough for us
to know each other, then neither would
eternity be adequate.

^^
How true these words are. Idon't understand how you can have such an old soul, but you do. Keep sharing your work:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Very cute piece nana :D Love job in expressing yourself here, i could feel the passion through your words. Beautiful work as always :D