Addicted

No sobs take over,
no tears gush down.
addiction replaces the
yearn to scream.

promise to only do it once,
and never touch it again.
your eyes can't rip away,
your skin feeds on it.

trace the scars gently,
sickly satisfied with the scabs.
disgust has ended, and you
secretly hope you'll die.

run away from the hard stuff,
tell everyone it'll be fine.
your heart breaks and it's like
you can't cry anymore.

understand i never wanted this.
acknowledge i'm starting to lose myself.
realize life is better without me.
know that i can't be better.