Chapter 3: Lost Souls!

by Jack Nightengale   Nov 18, 2010


Look! It's there, up high!
Right there! It's in the sky!
Another change begins,
But the nightmare never ends.

The Angel that protected us from the shadows unspoken,
Has now been destroyed, beaten, and broken.
With a sword through his body, he falls from the crimson sky,
With broken wings he realizes that he can no longer fly.

As he falls closer to his death, from deep within he hears a voice,
(voice)
I'll spare your life but, I need for you to make a choice.
Fall to your death and become food for the moles,
Or, become a Savior to my children, and help their lost souls.

(voice)
There are others that I could hand pick,
So make your choice and make it quick.
(savior)
I made my choice, and that of which you ask I'll make my goals,
I vow to this day a Savior of Lost Souls!

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by M Colella

    I have read this over a couple times. Your flow is excellent , theme and wording well put together to keep the reader interested. what talent you have for bringing your imagaination to the forefront of enjoyment

  • 13 years ago

    by WonderingSpiritDiaries

    REally awsome poem i love it :)

  • 13 years ago

    by kmx210

    I can feel the fire and strength. That is no doubt, but Dark secrets is right, the connection to the first chapter is lost. Unless I have to keep reading. I dont know who the voice is, but other than that, amazing poem. thank you again

  • 13 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Wow! you've really showed passion in this poem... I can feel your determination and fire. I liked the way you entered conversation into the poem, but you need to organize it a bit more... meaning you need to have the lines put after each other in a dialog fashion, like how plays are written down. Also, try to balance the number of lines in the dialog.
    I can see the connection between this poem and the other two, the first is hopes, then fear and this one is determination. Still, I think the link is a bit weak in this one... show who the characters are... I understand you're the savior, who is the voice? is it her? or someone else... and if so how do you link her to the two people in the conversation, because being in the other two she needs to come up in this one... But that's only my opinion.
    I hope to see more chapters to see where the story is going...keep it up.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lost Innocence

    Wow....i REALLY like this one

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