Wreckage of what used to be a life

Great poem, reminds me of my lost lover, 5/5 <3

Hey,
From my understanding, this poem speaks in all about how you generally felt about having something disappear from your life, something precious and with a lot of meaning to you maybe,

Glass is shattered every where
Scattering the memories we once had
Of building a life with so much joy
Erasing the meaning of being sad
^^
Simple, yet exactly to the point, I admire the way you explained how your memories were erased, like a glass that has been shattered, although I do believe that with the skill and imagination you poses, you could have started the poem with a better santanza,

Broken windows, broken doors
Losing the meaning of being safe
Vulnerable, weak, hopeless
We now live the life of a waif
^^
I’m a fan of stressing exactly how you feel, this contributed well on how I understood the poem, and it’s a good continuation from the 1st santanza, although, a few suggestions
1st line :Broken windows, wrecked doors
4th line: since you started the 2nd line with saying losing, the 4th line would break better
With the flow” Living the life of a waif.

White walls are now pitch black
Once hope, now its desperation
Our brains cannot realize its real
We think its part of a hallucination.
^^
Metaphorically speaking here, you have aced it, again I’d like to stress on how your imagination plays an important role on how I admire your poems, very straightforward, pin point,
It did take away from the flow, reputation of “we” could have been replaced with something that would help the flow, something like
White walls are now pitch black
What was once called hope, became desperation
Failing to realize this is real
Thinking it’s part of a hallucination.( although I do believe if I were in your shoes I’d think of it more of a constipation. Idk.

Broken record playing in the living room
It sounds like someone is getting chased
So empty, gloomy, spacey, wrecked
Echoes of laughter used to fill that place
^^
This is by far my favorite part, you’ve showed, so much emotions lurking within these words that I’ve had to read it twice to understand and grasp the amount of sadness and dismay in these words, very sad indeed, but talented never the less, no suggestions here.

And the last santanza is what really captured my heart mind and soul, a lot of people can relate to you poetry, and especially these lines, I’ve really felt them , the description of being stabbed in the back with a knife is absolutely appropriate within these lines,

Overall, ill be honest, the rhyming scheme is wonderful, as expected from you,
But I do believe that you have lost the flow in more than one occasion,
Yes it isn’t one of your best work, but you have nailed down your emotions perfectly
And for that you deserve a 5.

Many thanks for the good read
Cheers
Flying elephant

I really love this poem, the way it flows is very cool, I especially like:

"Broken record playing in the living room
It sounds like someone is getting chased
So empty, gloomy, spacey, wrecked
Echoes of laughter used to fill that place"

There is something about that which paints such a vivid picture to me it compleatly breaks me down.

As usual ...Amazing...:-)

A very sad poem ...

Indeed it feels really bad to stand over ruins of things that once had been or you though it could have been, and you perfectly penned that image.

My only take is the use of the word imagination ... I don't may be it is just me but I felt that Imagination is not well placed, could have placed a rather darker word.