Never fighting against God's will again.

by maryann   Jun 27, 2011


Darkened silence, I cry out and my echo answers me back. Walls were built yet they were never strong enough, emotions were bottled but the lid wasn't tight enough.

I should not care, yet I'm burning inside.

I love you LORD please help me figure this out. Confusion kicks in, I can't even breath, but your voice O Lord whispers in my ears. "This is the way my child trust me and just go ahead", I trust you Father I'm just scared is what happening real or is it all in my head.

I'm scared, but you say "do not be afraid". I'm worried, you whisper "I'm near".

But I'm broken my Lord, you say "I'm close to the broken hearted".

I feel anger and you calm me down JESUS won't you just clear this out.

I am down on my knees before you my Rock, my Savior, my LORD I am your unworthy servant please hear my cry.

I fell O LORD, maybe I disappointed you in this more than twice, you say "My child knows my will", I felt it Lord it was freaking me out, I fought against your will and now I'm in doubt I repent before you my GOD. You love me O Lord that I will not question twice you look after me more than my mother does.

You showed me signs and you warned me, now I'm left with my heart half empty, fill me up O Lord fill up the gaps, your love is more than enough. No one has ever fought to win my love harder than you have, I was unworthy LORD I was a sinner and you loved me enough, to take up flesh and walk my walk, you took up my place on the cross and forgave my all. We trust in humans to love us the way you do since your spirit is dwelling in them what harm could they do?

But as long as flesh is flesh weakness is there, a human's ability to break someone, sometimes is too much to bear.

You are here LORD in my heart you dwell my pain is your pain heal this wound. In your wounds O Lord we are all healed of every affliction that comes near.

I was in a spiritual war, I got defeated because against your will I tried to fight.

Forgive me O Lord it's you that I disappointed and no one else. I feel lost and alone, but you are right here I can feel you.

I will fight for no love other than your love, the only pure love belongs to you. Hosanna in the highest, kings of kings and Lord of Lords.

I love you Father, to you I surrender my all.

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