Locked Manacles

My gosh this piece is stunning. Fantastic word choice, excellent piece

Interesting style of a poem that definitely could be a challenge for other people, but of course not for you, TJ. :P

5/5

-Heather

...avd you said you didn't know how to write
a poem with rhymes!? :) Good with the challenge TJ and for me this write was deep
and made me think about things..

^ "And smoking in turn tells me that it's not something negative you're talking about"

^ I meant to say that "smoking in turn tells me that IT IS something negative you're going to talk about"

"Residue of lies fill my lungs"
^ This line caught my eye right away, because the word "residue" and "lungs" made me think of smoking. And smoking in turn tells me that it's not something negative you're talking about. I'm not sure whether this was your intention but this subtle hint truly intrigued me.

When I first read this poem, I wasn't so sure about the diction. The poem is a short one so I would've rather enjoyed one strong image that's elaborated upon. But when one takes her time to read each line carefully, she'll notice that each lines has its own strength with a balance of abstract terms vs simple objects. Like "execution" vs "tongue" or "embolism" vs "fear". They all make a good balance.

Not to mention that you did a wonderful job with the form - it's not forced at all. Nice job.