Someday somehow

I really like it i think that you could edit some of it and make it flow but other that that its really good keep up the good work

Awwwwwww!! This poem is so beautiful and sweet!!! Such a sad ending, but I absolutely loved it!! Great job!

I liked the poems words, and it's meaning, I thought the imagery was well done. You painted the picture very clearly of what you wanted to say, and the emotions you were feeling. I felt the rhyme scheme was a little off with the couplet at the end of the first stanza and the couplet at the end of the last stanza. All the other rhymes in the poem worked perfectly, but these 2 sets didn't quite fully rhyme as well as some other words you could have chosen. I also felt some of the lines were a little wordy. You could cut out a few words and they might flow better. like the lines

"Lying down holding you close to me
Listening to your heart beat and its perfect melody"

Nice use of the L's at the beginning of each line, it ties them together, but in the second line you could remove the word and so it would be "listening to your heart beat its perfect melody" it comes down to whether you want the heart beat and melody to be 2 separate sounds that you are listening to or if you want it to be just that one perfect sound. Overall a good write though and deep emotion in it. good job.

This poem is so so so so lovely:) well written:) great job, 5/5 keep it up:)

Aww, this is a sweet, heart-warming poem... I enjoyed it and appreciate your rhymes. Rhyming can be difficult, especially when some rhymes are forced or don't sound as good. Good job with this, it reminded us of sweet memories that many people can relate to. Great job