Mulling over satilite photography

Well-penned..i like the metaphors used in this stuff..very fascinating..

"Here the wishing hours linger, and the near blackness
is soundtracked by sirens across the city."

I love those two lines the best; the scene starts to play out in my head and those lines just...seemed so perfect.. I don't know how else to describe it besides perfection. The flawless wording on the entire poem was amazing.

5/5

-Heather

Well done Colm, congrats on the win!

This well written poems deserves to be on the front page

When i first read this poem (that is when only three lines were submitted) i wad truly stuck with these "greenhouse kisses", as i had no idea what it could symbolize. I wad also stuck with the eyelids for eyes and lits seemed two extremely incoherent objects, although the word "gossip" gives us a slight hint of some balance between the two. Perhaps it was because the greenhouse seemed to have very heavy symbolism, so that the non-existing connection between the two was even more noticeable. But now you've added this very impacting phrase about gaps and it is all much more connectable now.

The first two stanzas were also truly sentimental. I could feel every bit of sadness and distrust in your words. Though the distance between the two people might be the thing that grasped me most.

I am a bit unsure about the plates, though. Perhaps it's because i don't understand (same is still going on with the greenhouse). To me the piece turned a bit cold when that was mentioned. You seem to write in a very open and understandable manner yet i think you have a secret for creating innocent-looking complex metaphors, lol. I enjoy that about your poetry, though.