Train ride to?

by Jenni   Dec 27, 2011


Sitting in the train
on the first evening
of the last week.

The moon stumbles upon
the dark sky, it falls over
and over again onto
the trainroof and falls back
as if it lost its orbit.

It went astray, searching
for its usual spot and
isn't finding it.

42 minutes passed.

I don't hear announcements;
I lose sight of fellow travelers;
I don't recognize train stations.

I laugh quietly, cry shortly
to then step off and get hugged,
as if I came back after seven years

As heroine

Though I am just as lost as the moon.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    When you feel like you're lost you don't really know what to do, you dont really know where to go so you let life take you on a ride and see where you end up..... thats what this poem made me think of, I really like this, you did a nice job writing it..... :)

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Jenni, this was an interesting poem and reminded me about the times we'd be 'bored' on a train/bus/plane and we'd wander off to space, and think about things like the moon... and almost forget or not notice the people around us at all. I love the story you told about the moon, it was unique and different. I love the moon, so I enjoyed reading about it in your poem. The final line was amazing, it really made the poem even better. I love the idea of you realizing that at the end of the story you told, and how it may not be a bad thing.

    Great job hon!

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Aw... I love the incorporation of the 'train' and the time '42 minutes' .. they make it more realistic and nearer to our minds. It's creative by all means, and the imagery is dense.. really dense. quite a brilliant jb.

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I love this piece, for many reasons. One of those reasons would be that its so simple yet one of the most meaningful poems I've seen. Another reason is that the word choice is immaculate and really makes the simplicity pop even more. The imagery and descriptions really captured me and I'm so glad. It seems as though this piece is immensely creative and heart felt and that you really put yourself into the piece.

    It really is amazing. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    As I read this piece it makes me feel dizzy, which is a good thing..for I felt like I was on the train with the writer. Feelings of being lost, can feel like a train ride..to a place unknown... my interpretation of this lovely piece.... but your last line really grabbed me.

    "Though I am just as lost as the moon."

    ~~ All I can say to this is wow... beautiful ending, powerful last line...

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