7

I feel for you... so much..

Can I just say how much I adore this?!

Oh this piece is so beautifully wirrten and yet it's filled with so much sadness that it makes me want to cry! And when I want to cry, you know you've done a good job at expressing yourself! :)

Your first verse..OH MY GOD..such unique wording and vivid imagery all wrapped up into one gorgeous opening that makes me want to shout, because I'm that blown away by it. I love it. Love, love, love it!

Your imagery of the dandelion creates such a pretty picture in my head, all the while keeping that sadness and vulnerable state I find much of this to be in.

I to found the ending bitter and resentful, but also a little sarcastic as well, not only that it was a strong ending that really made me think.

Your closing line is perfect, so few words and yet so much power.

Love it!

Yaki,*

Ah, using numbers in poetry. You knew I'd be fond of that. I read this poem several times when you posted it and I'm still enjoying reading it now. The maturity in this poem was evident and while you placed this in the Misc section I was overwhelmed by sadness. I adored the tone, it was a tone of understanding, acceptance, maturity and growth.

The idea of wanting to make poetry out of someone's insides was quite intriguing, my first thought was quite a little bit different, the word insides reminds me of something gruesome and yet beautiful, so then I began to thought of making art out of the insides, a little disturbing yes but the body is beautiful after all.

Accepting silence, something difficult for most people to deal with, it reminds me of that gap in your heart when you lose someone close to you, it takes such a long time to accept that they're no longer sharing what once was with you anymore.

"when I would
cradle your head in my arms
as if you were just a little
dandelion traveling in the wind.."

Gorgeous imagery here and such an emotion, the idea of cradling someone in your arms brings on such vulnerable emotions. It reminds me of those close bonds between two people that are meant to be unbreakable and that's why it's so hard to deal with the silence this person now brings you.

I found it interesting that Chelsey found the ending to be sarcastic, it just reminds me of how we all interpret poetry differently and how we all feel things differently. To me I didn't see it as sarcastic at all, a little bitter yes but just sad and I can understand the sadness here. I could relate. I think anyone who has experienced a loss of a friend or a break up can.

The very last line "Take your lies somewhere else" that was definitely bitter and for good reason too.
I also liked how you incorporated a direct quote of what the person you speak about had said to you, it really makes the reader feel empathy.

(although I still don't
comprehend it)

Really liked how you put this sentence in brackets, it was as though your thoughts were trailing off somewhere else ... as though you were in a world of your own.

Beautiful poem
-Mel

Jesus Yaki,

Your poetry is soooo captivating to me. I just don't want to stop reading, which is weird because what you write is so sad, but how you write it is so amazing....

What I love is that I had no idea where the number 7 would come into play in this poem. And when I read it took 6 nights of you waiting to hear from them on the seventh day, I thought wow, this is just talent...

I slept through six nights,
before waking to
some prove that you're
still breathing..

^seriously such a profound statement, i could really feel that "hope" that you were trying to cling to in these days....

but,
I think that
I'll have to
sleep through six more nights
to make myself believe that.

^ The sarcasm here, loveddd it! Such a slap in the face to the person this is to. I loved how it changed the whole tone of this poem...

Youre incredible, never ever stop writing I will always want to read!!

Title of numbers, i always loved that, where is the 8 ? haha

the ending, was not expectable, beautiful.