Pardon my Rudeness

by Lioness   Apr 1, 2012


Pardon my rudeness,
for stumbling across
your vacant path
which bleeds a
faint aroma of
deceit drenched
in disappointment.

If only I had known
that your silhouette
words would slide
through my fingers
as quickly as
they had seeped
from your lips.

Your mendacities
were conveniently
hidden and the
scent would
slowly become
potent and
wake me up to
the certainty
of truth.

Pardon my rudeness,
for leaving your
vacant path
though I have purposely
left my footprints
as a warning...

to your next
victim.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    "Pardon my rudeness,
    for stumbling across
    your vacant path
    which bleeds a
    faint aroma of
    deceit drenched
    in disappointment."

    Great opening stanza. You reeled me in and had me hooked by the end of this verse.

    "If only I had known
    that your silhouette
    words would slide
    through my fingers
    as quickly as
    they had seeped
    from your lips."

    Loved the imagery in these lines. I really started to get a feel for the poem in this section.

    "Your mendacities
    were conveniently
    hidden and the
    scent would
    slowly become
    potent and
    wake me up to
    the certainty
    of truth."

    Another smashing stanza that is put together so well it is faultless.

    "Pardon my rudeness,
    for leaving your
    vacant path
    though I have purposely
    left my footprints
    as a warning...

    to your next
    victim. "

    I loved the ending the most as it was strong and showed you fighting back.

    Excellent

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Pardon my rudeness,
    for stumbling across
    your vacant path
    which bleeds a
    faint aroma of
    deceit drenched
    in disappointment.

    ---- I love the flow of this stanza. I also liked the tone and that's what I love about your poems the most, that I can find different tones. I can sense sarcasm in this stanza but I can also see it as sad. That you truly mean it, that it comes from someone that is truly worry and that it means it.

    If only I had known
    that your silhouette
    words would slide
    through my fingers
    as quickly as
    they had seeped
    from your lips.

    ---- Now, I'm not sure if I understood this one correctly.
    the way I understood it is as if the words just went away, they didn't cause much harm because they slide quickly through the fingers and if they are sliding then they are not touching it deeply, and if it's not touching then they simply made their way out from hurting you. Which goes back to my thoughts that you truly mean to ask for pardon as where as being sarcastic.

    Your mendacities
    were conveniently
    hidden and the
    scent would
    slowly become
    potent and
    wake me up to
    the certainty
    of truth.

    -- mendacity is untruthfulness,
    Seems to me that that someone really knew how to hide their intentions but like everything true intentions always show some way or another.

    Pardon my rudeness,
    for leaving your
    your vacant path
    though I have purposely
    left my footprints
    as a warning...

    to your next
    victim.

    --- I so like the beginning as much as I like the ending because you were able to realize the lies or rather the unhonesty and aside from that you are worry about that someone who will cross his/her path and so you are leaving footprints to warn that someone else who will be the next victim of that untrue person.

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Liz, Liz, Liz

    Can't imagine you being rude!Your heart is wrapped up in sugar.Loved your poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Liz..i enjoyed readin t.

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    ^^^Thanks Abed, for drawing me to this piece through the recent activty feed...

    Liz, I love it!!! I love the obscurity, the thoughts provoked here, it was such a strong spiritied, strong wording piece of poetry, that really spoke to me...

    You are fantastic, Liz, you are amazing!

    WOW

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