With this....

Jus evry stnza of dis poem is wel penned.
Lines like,dark beauty came upon by my veins fresh tears and d pain i felt dulled as i lost ounce of liquid dt keeps me alive are so refreshing..i lvd it..

With this red color
i'll pain you a beautiful picture

I love this opening, but I think you meant Paint ? But this was another sad poem from you, I know its hard to feel so low to write these poems, so I feel for you, but this is a another good poem. . you've got a tone in your poetry and I like it, think i'll read moreee

good poem :)

..wow.. The worst to imagine is Past.. Things go wrong to turn good at last.. End of a matter, spells victory.. The best is meant to come @ last.. Good job, & well done, Rihanna..

Awww this is sad :[
i hope u dont mean this

but all in all its a great poem :]

the pain that i felt dulled
as i lost ounce by ounce
of the liquid that keeps
me alive

you've expressed how deep the pain was :/
its really good full of emotion :]

great job!

5/5

"With this red color
i'll pain you a beautiful picture
you stare at its dark
beauty and ask how
it was born"
Great start. Made me want to read more

"smiling i tell you it's
a secret only i can know"
Really short and simple yet pulls the reader to keep on reading.

"what you'll never know is
that dark beautiy
came from upon my veins
fresh tears made that beautiful
light shade of red"
This is my favorite part. It unveils your secret and reminded me of this artist I once met who paints with his blood. Creepy. Just a spelling error though, "beautiy" should be "beauty". This would be flawless if you'd change that ;)

"the pain that i felt dulled
as i lost ounce by ounce
of the liquid that keeps
me alive"
This is a great part. I can feel the emotion and pain. But everything's becoming numb as you take more blood.

"staring at only the memories
of what i've done
sorrow begins to kiss
me as my feeling unravel"
The third line stood out. And this flowed perfectly.

"i hope one day all my
sorrow and trouble will
despair that day
so i can smile once again"
This shows there's still time and hope

Excellent piece. The theme and atmosphere's beautiful. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it 5/5 :)

-X