A mild goodbye

by Alanis   May 1, 2012


Tears was all that I saw, yells of pain was all
I heard. They were crowded around a broken
Body. "Mommy, daddy!! I am ok I am over here!"
I yelled. Why couldn't they hear me? They continued
Crying painful tears. Then I heard God speak 2 me
"They can't hear you my child, but you are loyal and
Shall spend eternal life with me," I took his hand and
Never looked back. For this was no ending it was
A beginning

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    Hey, this is pretty good,

    One advice before I forget, try to abstain from using numbers like 2 to imply to.

    Okay, I found this poem sad and touching. I was curious why the parents didn't answer and to my surprised the child is in a better place. So I see what you mean by it was only beginning, I'm guessing the chil now is in heaven and it's sad for his parents but good since he is in heaven.

    The last line, it would probably sound better if you say "for this was not ending it, this was only the beginning..."

    • 12 years ago

      by Alanis

      Thanx for the advice:) I will apply it my next poems

  • 12 years ago

    by Amy

    I agree ;) God is with you all the way

  • 12 years ago

    by symonelouise27

    This is the kind of poem that gives people hope

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