Lingering

On mornings like this one,
with the birds silent
and the clouds gathering
beneath my nose,
I awaken
expecting to catch a scent
of your chocolate
lingering in the air
waiting to rouse me from my sleep.
That mirage,
like an apparition teasing me
to remember what I never knew,
yet beleaguering me to forget
everything.
Brooding in my bungalow now,
sipping what's left of my bitter coffee,
I'm suddenly thankful
for having ended my dalliance
with death.
Yes,
the glamour of what we almost had
was worth keeping, yet
I knew the air was redolent of deceit.
Do you understand now?
Whatever your response,
let me further explain
and use my unheard voice for once.
Each morning,
when I came down the wooden stairs
to find you baking bread
and roasting cacao seeds for chocolate,
I always felt warm; loved, even
(believe me or not)
With your chocolate-scented fingers,
you lifted me up my chair
to the counter top I could not reach then.
I always smiled inside,
you never did see or notice,
but I tell you, I did.
And as I sit up
on my cold bed this morning
rubbing the sleep from my eyes,
I expect to smell your chocolate lingering in the cold air,
yet I'm always left disappointed.
But, perhaps
I expect too much from this
life.
---------------------------
*Just a vent about one of my earliest childhood memories that luckily, I could still remember clearly. Today's my grandmother's death anniversary, so I felt the need to release..
-X
05/05/12