For A While

by CathyButterflyJC   May 5, 2012


For a while
I try to smile
But it isn't easy

I pretend I'm fine
Speaking the same old line
When my whole life is dying inside

I want to put this pain to rest
But you were my very best
And I don't want to fight it

You were always the one
Even when every ounce of hope is done

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  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I like that you managed to keep this a simple poem, yet its emotional impact was great..perhaps i'm too emotional today?. i dunno, but I like it.
    "I pretend I'm fine
    Speaking the same old line"
    --I feel this way once in a while. When your response always seems to be "I'm fine" even if you're not.. Sad, but that's reality.
    My only criticism here is perhaps the last lines:
    "You were always the one
    Even when every ounce of hope is done"
    ---To be honest, I was expecting a more powerful ending. My only advice here is that you change 'done' to gone. It'll still rhyme subtly, and makes more sense.
    Overall, I like this. Keep writing
    -X

  • 11 years ago

    by Max

    Well this is amazing short and simple
    i love it
    The flow was nice and the emotion was powerful
    i can relate that and its nice piece
    5/5 =)