You Should Have Been Sober

by Maria Chatziilia   May 7, 2012

What's the reason of being nice and true anyways
when all you do is try to hurt me in so many ways?
Why do I care about your feelings more than mine,
When all you do, is smoke and get drunk on wine?
And why are you so sure seeing you like this doesn't hurt?
Do you think it's easy for your daugther to see you flirt?
I just wanted you to know how lonely I feel at nights
but no, you know nothing else but how to get in fights.

You really were my hero, a role model, the perfect dad,
you loved your family so much and for that, I was glad.
I never imagined you could ever change so much,
I haven't seen your smile in years, haven't felt your touch.
And I blame myself for waiting for you to go back,
to that perfect dad you were to me, back to the start.

The sorrow and the pain I feel inside, no one can feel,
my scars have faded away but my wounds won't heal.
I feel so lost without them, so I cut myself again
they say it ends, but someone please tell me when.
I am not ready to die, so could you please open your eyes?
Forget about your stupid habits, stop telling lies
I need you to be my dad, I need you to be here for me,
you're being a horrible person, why can't you see?

I hear mom's voice and I see her face in my sleep,
I wake up worrying that I'll lose control and cut deep.
In my bathroom, I remind myself of how sick you are,
missing the times when you called me your little star.
But I realize nothing's going to be the same anymore,
so here it is, I'm leaving this suicide note on the floor.
I'm not sure if you'll ever notice it after I'm gone,
I only care about meeting mom, hopefully before dawn.

Everything would be different if you just cared to see,
how strong mom was and how beautiful our life could be.


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments