Chorus of Chains

I wish that I could share these thoughts
that swirl around my head as drunken tears.
The kind that travel upon hallucinations
and devious fascinations of leaving my soul behind.

^^it sounds as though you're hiding something... Unable to tell someone whats troubling you or unable to find the right words to say. It also sounds like in the last line in particular, that you have thought of suicide - or is that just the obvious inference of this statement?
Anyhow, I feel like there is a deep sadness behind these words that you need to overcome.

Every time I come close to reaching out
my heart caves like a giant coffin,
suffocating on dirt, left behind by
the vixen that perished me a few years back.

^^ you have tried to open up but you fear the outcome..? But by not speaking out you are further trapping yourself behind ... Lies perhaps? 'vixen' could imply trouble-maker.. Something you have done wrong that you regret but cannot fix from fear of consequence?

I used to be so alive, frolicking upon a dancing
field of wildflowers, and share my spirit in peace,
but now I'm left drowning in a pool of emotions.

^^speak of life without the burden you now hold within yourself... That is making you 'drown' like an anchor - trapped to the chain with nowhere to go but down..

I hear you call my name, during the chorus of
a sultry, blues melody, granting me your compassion,
and all I want to do is collapse within your hugging arms,
and let it all go....

^^ the person you are .. Lying to?.. Has no idea, still loves you and you them. They are there for you and you need that comfort in order to help banish the emotional tirade...

perhaps, when these chains start to rust,
my burden shall decay and I will finally be free,
free-
to call you my brother in spirit
and we shall finish that song together
with a smile....

^^ waiting for death... The easy way out perhaps?
Though this last stanza seems to sing a different tune to those above.. Sounds as though there is still hope, even though there is still such sadness.. Such emotion..

Overall, WOW! This is a captivating poem! The emotion is powerful and holds the reader to the very end! Nice imagery especially in the last stanza. Good choice of vocab!

i noticed no flaws in editing. All's well!

5/5

Hun,

I know that you put this poem in the miscellaneous poems but I can feel a sense of sadness come through that just broke my heart when reading the words.
You talk here about how you used to be, the kind of person you were and how much life that you had inside of you but then you talk about death and your husband and that is where the sadness is so evident.
I believe you are telling us that you feel chained up with these dark emotions that are with you because of what is happening with you and your family and it can take a huge toll on your emotions.
I love the image in the last stanza. It makes me think of life after death and being with the ones when we die. Oh that was beautiful.

Hun I love this write, you are one amazing woman.

x

Lovely write, there is just so much raw emotion coming out from your words, just brilliant!

I love this write syrup so so much, it flows and has so much emotion init i can tell it comes straight from heart to pen.....amazing x