Missed Opportunities

I disobeyed your rules,
dogged with my resistance;
Knowing you were decrepit,
withering away with apprehension,
similar to a flower in lack of sunlight.

..Now I sit questioning my moments of recklessness,
my conscience like a mirror reflecting all my negativity

..Some nights are unbearable,
almost as terrible as slipping through
an iced pond into the numbing waters below, but worse.
Lost in thought, sitting completely still, almost as if
the frozen heart inside my chest
converted my entire body into an ice block.

..I wish I could come to acceptance,
but some things aren't acceptable.

Life taught me the lessons you couldn't.
Watching winter murder the flowers and
seize the trees beauty reminded me
even the most amazing of living things
are given little time. Cherish it..

..While witnessing the rebirth in the spring
taught me where one thing dies
a replacement that's even more beautiful grows

That was a misconception..

For nothing can replace your beauty; You shine
in our hearts brighter then the sun in the sky.
I think of you now more then ever before,
regretful tears cascading from my eyes.
Your wisdom moved in, evicting my ignorance
you're free now my angel, so fly.