Submissively (Senryu)

This is just great. You've done a wonderful job here!! The last line is killer, as if the love of the two are always linked together. once again amazing job.

Jasmine chained necklace hey...........

what to make of this.........

I like the whole suggestion in this poem that you and your partner have made some compramises and found middle ground,

Love redrawn makes me think you are suggesting that you have started again, or looked back to what made you fall in love in the first place.

ok time to go off track and go deeper

Jasmine, a very fragrant shrub. Could suggest your are masking your feelings of discontent. You cannot smell the bad feelings in the air.

Chained, linked together, unable to break free? could suggest you feel trapped

Necklace, could suggest; if you link necklace to submissive it could suggest you are being led (almost like a lead...no offence intended BTW) A necklace tends to sit over your heart so maybe the fragrance is masking your true feelings..........

Why the hell do I always look at the negative?

Ok, a postive opinion,

Jasmine, a sweet smelling shrub, love is sweet and the air is full of pure thoughts and aromas

Chained, a symbol of being together in unison, hard to break apart.

Necklace, a symbol of love and affection. Of commitment.

I prefered the darker view!!!!

****evil laugh follows*****

I think i am still crackers - off for a fag!!

Very strong idea.. my fav.

That's a beautiful senyru; the last line is quite melodic and well-thought of!

Oh wow
you killed it memeee
you truly did! and the jasmine chain neck I suppose means That both of them are binded by one eternal love

i'm in love with this