Flickering Warmth

by Meme   Oct 20, 2012


As if your silence has
awakened the distance
that existed between your
heart and the one I hold
inside me.

And I heard it; I heard
the drifting beats, but
were they yours? Or
were they mine?

"I don't know ..."

I can recall the whispers
of the paved words, but
I don't feel them anymore.
My fingers had lost the
tangibility of their warmth.

Still, I stood under the
flickering lamp of that
dusky road, in an attempt
to seek a reason to end
that chill I felt inside ..

.. but there was none.

Maybe I, too, shall
pass by the corners of
inevitability; with no
more words to state.

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© Copyright 2012 by: gIrL
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Darren

    The first stanza hooks you,

    You give so much power to 'silence'

    I love the emphasis in the second stanza, 'heard' used quickly in succesion then the thought provoking questions adds to the mood.

    Then the despondancy in the statement

    'I don't know'

    a natural pause that works really well

    'paved words' is great, it makes you feel that those words were unbreakable, that they would last forever.

    yet we move onto your best stanza that really hits you with the mood and the sadness, you set the scene here really well. The word 'chill' works really well here.

    another pause and change of tone then the final stanza

    the realisation, you are trying to move forward. still questioning yourself but this time you know the answers.

    great piece, full of mood and questions.

    loved it.

  • 13 years ago

    by Tillra

    Excellent. Very nice flow and depth.
    I enjoyed it greatly.

  • 13 years ago

    by L

    Dusky road, flickering lamps.. haha this reminded me of my poem, though just that this one is different and sad.

    You know, sometimes one just have to move on but in order to move on one has to realize the real truth not the one our eyes or hearts wishes to believe.

    It takes time and courage. In my opinion, it's not really about giving up, it's about keep trying until your eyes finally open up to the truth, then that's when one finally moves on.

  • 13 years ago

    by average thoughts

    One of uor best agn..

  • 13 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I don't comment enough, I guess sometimes I have things inside me that will pour to the page when.I try and explain my feelings.on poetry and I guess I'm scared to be honest.
    I found this piece really strong with its simple wording, it felt real and poetry without all the fakeness and cover ups is always the best...its real and deep abd flowed well.

    I am just gonna keep it short and say that you were right on it here, it was just great
    xxx
    love ya

    • 13 years ago

      by Meme

      Always be honest hon, no matter what others may say!
      And thanks for the comment, luv ya too :)

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