Glazing

by Jenni   Nov 1, 2012


Autumns frigidity slowly tiptoes
through the depth of branches
and on every leaf, while dazing feelings
barely evanesce; morning dew bedecks
every ounce of me.

The shadow of my heartbeat frowns
as I lament, maybe it will help the grass grow.

"You're doing it again." you said,
my body dissolves at the mere thought...
it is love, but at what price?

Dying for winters arrival;
waiting for the sirens, whereas stars
try to read me - forlorn,

I am dreamless.

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  • 11 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    Jenni this is awesome , one of the best from you

    It's just so deep and meaningful the word choice was perfect along with the flow

    Flawless :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Jenni, sweet Jenni I feel soooo in love with your poetry, you really do not write enough....This is incredible..Totally abstract, totally tilts my head and makes me think hard when reading...

    Seriously love, that opening stanza is absolutely breathtaking and I cant seem to stop reading JUST that part..its so beautiful. Your word choice always amazes me girl for English not being your first language, you use it better than anyone whose first language is English...

    Excellent write!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I love the subtle imagery here, Jenni. It's almost fleeting, it's abstract yet realistic in a way when you added that monologue. I felt like you were showing me that image, the coldness of Autumn through the branches and the leaves and the dew.. then it is explicitly stated that you are lamenting. I would have wanted you to continue using imagery but the idea of your sadness making the grass grow was good. The dew, the title, the lamenting made me picture that the persona is crying and maybe looking at the distance - to the trees, perhaps. And she was numb:
    "while dazing feelings
    barely evanesce;"

    But when I reached the monologue, it felt like even as a reader, I was pulled back to reality. It all seemed frozen, until that voice resounded.
    My thought was that the persona was crying/mourning and that was what the said person's accusation. Maybe not accusation when he said that - acknowledgement? I'm not sure.. Maybe an attempt to bring her out of her reverie. And it seems that the persona is doing it more so often lately. That's why the "again" there is more important than it seems.

    "my body dissolves at the mere thought..."

    I'm assuming she is pulled back but there is still sadness. And it is not the kind that you could easily shake off. It's caused by something more, and whatever it is, I do not know. But something that is all-encompassing, I believe.

    "it is love, but at what price?"

    And there is certainty about the feeling, but doubt of what it would cost in the end. It may not be worth it.

    "Dying for winters arrival;
    waiting for the sirens, whereas stars
    try to read me - forlorn,"

    Not really sure if winter is a metaphor here for someone or something else entirely, but I'm assuming it's the season itself. Dying.. Waiting.?
    Again, not sure if the sirens and stars are metaphors or literal here. I immediately thought of an ambulance coming since there is lamenting. And the stars may be an indication of time passing; it is night.
    And because she is so numb, perhaps so exhausted that the persona is dreamless that night.

    It is saddening and afflicting to read this, Jenni. The emotion. Uncertainty, depression, emptiness exudes from this piece and I can relate so much though I don't really want to. And yet it is so beautiful.
    I'm not entirely sure, as I've said, about any of my interpretation or more like babbling lol, but what I got from this piece is worth it.

    It is not often that you'd submit a poem but whenever you do, they always leave me thinking and so speechless.
    Truly remarkable.

    ---
    I just wanted to add though: an apostrophe on "Autumns" and "winters" might be necessary?

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Dying for winters arrival;
    waiting for the sirens, whereas stars
    try to read me - forlorn,

    ^^ This one is my favorite part.

    My thoughts as I read, I could be wrong but it seems that someone is in love rather that both are in love but something is getting in the way. Is it the nature of both that is getting in the way?

    I'm not sure but I did enjoy this piece

  • 11 years ago

    by Formidable Muse

    "Autumns frigidity slowly tiptoes
    through the depth of branches
    and on every leaf, while dazing feelings
    barely evanesce; morning dew bedecks
    every ounce of me."

    ^^The vivid picture this portrays is very beautiful, especially the first line. The beginning is what pulled my in.

    The emotion.
    I feel a lot of tension in this piece, you seem very emotionally restless. Wanting to fight for something, but seeming unsure, leading to a very troubled heart...

    Flow and Word choice.
    For not having a set rhythm, it flowed at a very nice pace. I love the choice of adjectives you used throughout.

    ""You're doing it again." you said,
    my body dissolves at the mere thought...
    it is love, but at what price?"

    ^^I would LOVE to know what this means, doing what? It's heartbreaking in a way.

    This is a very beautiful write, sad yet insightful.