Bomb-shell...(string Tanka)

by ah satan 666   Nov 25, 2012


Blood around the moon
during witching hour.
The ambiance of
death, lurks in the dark night air.
Tears on duck feathers tonight.

A steady stream to
ones slumber, where dreams begin.
Reserved in that thought,
I no longer feel alone...
welcoming being evoked.

Silence is broken,
"Meow" is my beckoning.
"Your home then"... You sit,
watch as i light a candle
for the brave, that have fallen.

You comfort me, in
front of our roaring fire.
If only flashbacks
where as gentle, smokey, as
your soft nature and markings.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Andre's smack it to me!
Club challenge

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Natasha I think you did AWESOME with this challenge!

    A steady stream to
    ones slumber, where dreams begin.
    Reserved in that thought,
    I no longer feel alone...
    welcoming being evoked.

    ^ gracious, this was amazing..steady stream to slumber..omg loveeddd the alliteration to that..rang so pretty...

    Well penned, seriously, I loved it.

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Blood around the moon
    during witching hour.
    The ambiance of
    death, lurks in the dark night air.
    Tears on duck feathers tonight.

    - this is such a sad opening, it made me think of the moon with blood around it, representing our thoughts for the people who we miss and are no longer with us. I love the duck feathers, it is much more unique than just saying pillows.

    A steady stream to
    ones slumber, where dreams begin.
    Reserved in that thought,
    I no longer feel alone...
    welcoming being evoked.

    - I think from this is the fact that you can no longer feel alone when you sleep because in your dreams you are accompanied by many other things, good or bad, but non the less they are with you.

    Silence is broken,
    "Meow" is my beckoning.
    "Your home then"... You sit,
    watch as i light a candle
    for the brave, that have fallen.

    - this is such a moving scene, to remember those who have fought for us and who gave their all for us, lighting a candle is a such a kind act of honour and rememberance, respect for that selfless person whom we miss.

    You comfort me, in
    front of our roaring fire.
    If only flashbacks
    where as gentle, smokey, as
    your soft nature and markings.

    - I like the ending how the cat becomes your companion and comforts you, it perhaps even shares the memories with you. The line about the flashbacks was very clever ad you compared such a horrible nd vivid thing to a soft and delicate thing which you wish you could make the flashbacks.

    Great job on the challenge, well done

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Natasha!!!

    You are really amazing me with your writes of late... truly a gem here... Loved this!

    • 11 years ago

      by ah satan 666

      The poem is about my granddad,
      he served his time in the Royal Marines...
      He had a light smokey grey cat, with black markings (he looked like a tiger on a black and white tv)
      His name was Bomb-Shell and he never left my granddads side.

      Thankyou Andrea :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Natasha, I loved this piece...it was so well written and the questions were incorporated so easily...

    An awesome piece