Comments : O'er Summer Skies (Huitain)

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Wonderful piece,
    Full of imagery, as the day goes to sleep to wake up at the dawn with the first appearance of the sun.

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    I've never seen this form, I like it... I'll have to try it sometime. :)

    This piece is full of fantastic imagery of the sun setting with it's pink skies, then going to sleep for the night and then arising the next morning. Very serene.

  • 11 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    The other night I saw a stunning evening sky full of pinks and blues. I wonder if you were looking at the same thing I saw- on the same night when you wrote this piece. It reminded me of cotton candy lol. excellent imagery and flow- I am not familiar with this form but I like the way it looks on the screen. sweet.

  • 11 years ago

    by yogi73

    So beautiful. you have an uncommon voice, with a classic poetic touch. The images of mother earth arising at dawn are conjured in my mind. thanks for sharing!

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    Beautiful piece girlfriend. I am glad you are back.

  • 11 years ago

    by Liz

    I love sunsets and sunrises. I usually only catch the sunrises, since the sun rises right at our front door :P but ever since I moved away from the city and into the country, I've learned to appreciate and love them more. This poem just paints the perfect picture. Absolutely love it!


  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    I like this form and you have done well using this
    form to pen a lovely picture of nature's sky. The
    flow is smooth and the rhymes seem to fit well.
    Good job...enjoyed the read :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    Stunning, Brilliant!! Hellon you penned a great poem of beautiful word choice. I loved it. Someday, I'll give this form a trial, it's short and beautiful. Keep on shining.

  • 11 years ago

    by The Queen

    The author did a wonderful job portraying the magical beauty of nature just before sunset by using strong, accurate and well-placed words. Imagine a multitude of tiny silver stars peering through the dusky pink background. Majestic... in all its glory.

    Metaphorically, the mountains here represent the relationship between a mother and her child. She is devoted to her child and prepared to withstand great suffering for their sake.

    As for the form; lately, I've seen a few poems that are written in this beautiful poetry form and to be honest, this poem is one of those two that has truly taken the top of my head off. The rhyming words fit in with the rest of the poem and sound natural. This poem's strict meter counts help give the reader predictability when reading this piece. Excellent!

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Lovely flow and imagery here. The form fits perfectly.

    One of the things I really love about your poetry is the minimal use of punctuation. Sometimes I think I use too much, and they still don't flow the way I want them to, haha.

    The delicate wording and rhymes, I enjoyed a lot too. This is something I could read over and over.
    Glad to read from you again.

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    This poem is like a sunset view and the beautiful silence that follows. Truly a relaxing piece(:

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "I don't recall seeing this form before, however the author makes it look so easy and effortless that it makes me want to attempt it myself.
    I'm always a fan of beautiful imagery and within the opening lines the author has me smiling as I can quite easily see what she is describing in my mind, and it makes for such a pretty visual.

    I'm usually not a fan of nature poems as I find that they are one of the more difficult genres to write about, and -if- a poet succeeds in writing them often I find they become cliche and often include overused terms/similes/metaphors etc. However, the author does a simply wonderful job throughout the whole poem, the imagery is spot on, as is the flow and the content of the poem, and I think this was a remarkable poem and lovely attempt at the style used."


  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Hellon, I thought I would look through some old pieces so here I am. This is a beautifully executed piece of nature. Though limited syllables and lines you keep the flow and rhyming perfect and smooth.

    Take care, Em

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist


    A nice piece about nature..this form is new to me, thanks for the info and for introducing it.
    A perfect 8 syllables , the rhymes, and wordings are perfect too.

    Well done. :)