Great poem! It reminds me of Patrick Jane from the tv show The Mentalist :)
6 years ago
I love how creative this was. You took something so common to everyday, unique to the world of authors, and personal to you in your own way and wrote this extremely phenomenal piece. I think that your word choice was amazing, you created the entire scene and still related it to yourself, without making it too obvious. I love the perspective this took on and the way you chose to wrote.
Thank you for penning something so unique yet so universal.
I really did enjoy this piece.
7 years ago
by Beautiful Soul
I had to think about this one which is rare for me but you did such a great job with it. I love how you started out seemingly with happiness and even bliss. You are this teabag it seems and I loved the metaphor becauseythis "other person" has only the taste for you. I love the combination of the words gently and sprinkle. I think they work so well together to help enhance the poem. I like how you make this turn "dark" right away because that's how fast life can really turn. I like how you say you are drowning as well. You are trying to escape from a current but it keeps pushing you around and soon it will swallow you. Like the comparison to datkness or anything negative. I like how you made the metaphor and tone throughout the whole poem and draw the reader in. Then it hits you hard at the end. "You have served your purpose" that is sad. It seems like this person just hurt you and then you just got lost. Great write