The Midnight Hour [Shakespearean Sonnet]

by Saerelune   Feb 6, 2013


There is a place where floods of fire collide,
where water burns against a bridge's brow,
and desire dissolves behind eyes, too wide
to narrow in the presence of a night's vow.

Then tresses like seaweed strangle your throat,
when sorrow snatches its sense from your skin,
and all drops of dreams shall presently quote
distant delight that's drawn upon your grin.

For time leaves you - a starfish at bay -
a scorching hand guiding your skyward gaze.
Still silence surrenders as feet sashay
into moments of love yet set ablaze.

Thus an ocean away, sleep shall remain
as the waves yield a cradlesong, in vain.

Something I wrote, a year or so ago.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    I have been judging for a few weeks now and this is the best poem I have come across to date. I am nowhere near competent enough to be able to say whether or not this is a correctly written sonnet. All I can say is that it flows beautifully. There is immense imagery throughout and the rhyming scheme is spot on. As a stand alone poem this is a lesson in poetry. It is a sad reflection that only one member has nominated this....probably old fashioned, it is a form which seems to be sooo yesterday!!!
    I love this, once my stint is over not only is this poem going into my favourites, but so to is the author and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
    Awesome, awesome poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by xXx Eternal PainxXx

    I really do like the way it flowed and the ryhming in some of the parts just beautiful and i really do love

    and desire dissolves behind eyes, too wide
    to narrow in the presence of a night's vow.
    ^ that part makes me think of sadness and the night lol

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    I think it does have the imbiac pentameter that's why the stressed goes to night which is the 10 syllable lol

    And the other one, the stressed goes at "at" which is the eight syllable.

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Beautiful poem, I agree with hellon

    My only thing is that if I am not mistaken two lines have no the iambic pentameter.

    to narrow in the presence of a night's vow.

    ^^ for instance this one, it has 11 syllables and thus night is more stressed that vow.

    And also on the one that says:

    For time leaves you - a starfish at bay-

    ^^ this line has 9 syllables and so to me the final stressed goes to "at" instead of "bay."
    Though, I still get confuse with how to distinguish it lol
    However, if I read that line on it's own -a starfish at bay-" it gives me the opposite of the iambic pentameter and thus the stressed goes at "bay." So I am assuming that's the reason it of the - - to make a stop and give the stressed on the a to end the stressed on bay.

    Other than that, it's fun to read how the sound in the words goes unstressed, stressed, unstressed, stressed.

    Amazing.

  • 11 years ago

    by Mimed Lovette

    I am so proud of you, this poem is superbly fantastic :D You know how I always loved reading your poems. Always had and always will ;P

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