Sacrificial

by LostForWords   Mar 11, 2013


Alone in the wilderness of a pitch black forest,
the only light roars from a burning ember.
Hooded figures circle an altar whilst a young
girl lays bare upon the stone, bound at
her hands and feet.

Pagan chants buzz all around, daggers poised tightly.
As the sacrifice begins signaled by the eclipse of the sun.
Screams fill the air as her fate is sealed by the very faith that
consumes her.

They cut vigorously at her skin, blood flows like wine
as it seeps from her open wounds. Flares of the
sun run red with fury. Ritual dances begin provokingly
around the altar. The priest raises his dagger
and plunges straight through her heart.

The lifeless body of an innocent is all that remains
on a blood stained stone altar. Dances of euphoric
joy embark through the night as they acknowledge
glorification of their sacrificial bounty.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    Now I can nominate this :D

    Great write kiddo!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    LOVE IT, so much emotion and a poem for sure that is a treasure, I really enjoyed reading it, and it spoke out in wind that hit the soul right on

  • 11 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    Ooo now this is different.

    The imagery is very dramatic... suits the tone and category in which you've homed it.

    I quite like the history and religious controversy when regarding "The con of Man" and religious rituals.

    You penned a very good piece.
    I'm glad someone has nominated, as I would if I could.
    Into my favourites

  • 11 years ago

    by whoami

    Wow this is very vivid! Great job.

  • 11 years ago

    by Kate

    Woah, I like this.

    I mean, I love how you start it out. The first stanza is just... powerful.

    "Alone in the wilderness of a pitch black forest,
    the only light roars from a burning ember.
    Hooded figures circle an altar whilst a young
    girl lays bare upon the stone, bound at
    her hands and feet."

    ^^^^ the imagery you produce instantly sets are dark image and that goes very well in this poem. I am a sucker for really good imagery and you did it pretty well here. I like the use of "roars" as if the fire were an animal which connects with being in the woods. Powerful start.

    "Pagan chants buzz all around, daggers poised tightly.
    As the sacrifice begins signaled by the eclipse of the sun.
    Screams fill the air as her fate is sealed by the very faith that
    consumes her."

    ^^^ the imagery isnt as strong in this one as the first but it is still interesting. You can see it and the girl screaming out in fear. I think there should be a comma between "begins" and "signaled" but maybe that is just me.

    "They cut vigorously at her skin, blood flows like wine
    as it seeps from her open wounds. Flares of the
    sun run red with fury. Ritual dances begin provokingly
    around the altar. The priest raises his dagger
    and plunges straight through her heart."

    ^^^ ok so let me start by saying that I literally love horror movies so I loved this part of the poem. It has amazing imagery and is kind of sickening, which I love. I like the use of color though. The red in the sun, blood is red and so is wine.
    I also LOVE the contrast here between pagans and wine. Christians said that they were eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Christ. When it was really just bread and wine. And the fact that you compared the blood to wine is contrasting with pagan's polytheistic views. Loved that touch. Whether intentional or not.

    "The lifeless body of an innocent is all that remains
    on a blood stained stone altar. Dances of euphoric
    joy embark through the night as they acknowledge
    glorification of their sacrificial bounty."

    ^^^ I love the ending. Brings a solid conclusion to the piece.

    Overall, I am in love. Adding to my favorites. In my opinion, you structured it well and the imagery is FANTASTIC.

    Oh, and nominating.