The Devil's Rock (Sonnet)

by Maple Tree   Mar 19, 2013


Deathly stench drifts in the shadows tonight
eerie sounds nip on ears, burdened shackles
ghost ships linger, footprints scatter; take flight
whispering demon's dance, smolder, cackle.

Bound by notions, running with midnight fears
naked under draped silk, "I beg thee; life"
scalding bubbles drip of acidic tears
grabbing throats by a silver switchblade knife.

I become his victim number thirteen
slain on the rock of the devil's playground
gutting me from nose, ending at my spleen,
"Stop screaming my child, not another sound"

whispers fade, chill of a dawn has risen
spirit remains alone in this prison.

Sonnet - 14 lines long, three 4-line stanzas and concluding couplet, 10 syllables each line, rhyme scheme involved (often abab cdcd efef gg)

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Simply Wonderful!!!

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    No worries...IMO you can smell a lot of things (although I do know you have death written right after it) but..the word smell can relate to nice things also..perfume, fruit etc...stench doesn't give off a pleasant feel or thought...just my opinion :)

    • 11 years ago

      by Maple Tree

      I agree Hellon :-) thank you so much for your help... I love the word stench, but lingers won't fit.. so I used drifts... think I like it much better now :-)

  • 11 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Again thank you everyone :-)

    Hellon I love your ideas... I did actually have issues with the format, but I got it changed this morning with no problem, thank you.. and I love stench and lingers... but it won't fit properly with my syllable count.. thank you very much, love it when you stop by :-)

  • 11 years ago

    by Texas Battle

    Creativity

  • 11 years ago

    by Hellon

    This is so different from your usual writes...very dark...very creepy. Can I suggest changing your first line to include the words stench and linger? Something like this maybe....Deathly stench lingers in shadows tonight...IMO it makes it even more scary haha!!!

    Also...the layout? You say, as is usual for a sonnet, that there should be three 4 line stanzas and yet you have them all grouped together...is there a reason for this? Not sure if it's just the formating on the site right now because I was having trouble when I was doing the Wheel of Fortune thingy...it looked like I was leaving spaces but when I posted they were all joined together...Anyway...back to the poem..really loved your ending...the whole poem had me on edge...very well done!

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