You know your getting older

When you get older
You realize thst clouds are just holes in the sky
& so are the stars
So you stop wishing and stop dreaming
& nothings really magical anymore
& the things that used to keep you from bursting at the seams now tear you apart
When you find out where babies come from, from a kid whose name you do not know
When the cemetery isnt so scary
When you lose the box to your crayons
And when your best friend always frowns

You know when you start taking your moms pain pills
&your not sure why
but they make you feel good inside

When you fall in love with a boy who doesnt really care
And everybodys always fighting and your not sure why
but the girl down the block always cries
She said her boyfriend cheated on her & you learn what that means & also how it feels and why

When you start to cut
& your not sure why
But an older boy promises you that he can fix you inside
& hell help your heart heal, you know your growing upp when you can call bullshit
& nothing feels important
& suddenly your heart doesnt skip a beat when you hear your favorite song because you realize other people have heard this song... and this song wasnt meant for you but it was meant for the world
& your no longer one in 7billion but now 1 in a million
& your mom isnt perfect anymore

& you dont do your homework as soon as you get it
& weeds start growing in your perfect lawn
When everything falls apart in the summer where you were supposed to make the world your own
& you have sex with a guy whos middle name you dont know
Thats how you know your getting old...