Undefeatable

by ah satan 666   May 6, 2013


When you look at me,
I own a childish smile...
I look away, I don't like you,
Yes, I'm in denial.

~ Kindness ~

You took my hand,
You locked your fingers tight...
I didn't see you coming,
Where was my fight?

~ Is ~

Your healing the cracks,
Caused by lies and deception...
Filling my heart with warmth,
It's a deep connection.

~ My ~

So when you see,
my childish smile...
Know its because I like you,
and have done, for a while.

~ Weakness ~

My chrysalis, you've devoured,
as your actions set me free...
I'm enchanted by every moment,
as our status quo becomes "We".

2


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by LQQK

    Awesome.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Judging comment:

    "I was very surprised that I found myself enjoying this poem as I read through it, as I'm usually not one for rhyme as I believe it hinders a poet's ability to express themselves freely at times. That being said, I found I really enjoyed this poem. The emotion was there and though I see the author placed this in miscellaneous I found myself thinking on how we feel when we first meet someone new and begin to realise that we are slowly falling in love with them and that they are opening up our hearts once more which is such a beautiful feeling and priceless time in our lives. I noticed a couple of grammar errors that need to be fixed such as capitalising "I"'s, warth-warmth? and Your healing-you're. My only nitpick I have about this is that I found some of the rhyming fell into the cliche category such as tight/fight we/free. other than that I enjoyed this and I also liked the small sentence in brackets. "

  • 10 years ago

    by Liz

    Love the Undefeatable vs. the Weakness. :)
    I'd have to say, for me, the part that really jumped at me was the last stanza.

    "My chrysalis, you've devoured,
    as your actions set me free..."

    I can totally picture the chrysalis being "destroyed" and the butterflies in your tummy being set free! Love the feeling and love the way you worded this. Awesome :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Lemon

    I love the "kindness is my weakness" contradicting the poem name, I also think it's super creative :). It must be hard, someone getting through your armour which you spend a long time building up, like piercing the weak spot with Cupid's arrow haha :). You can see that they are breaking past the wall yet you can't do anything about it- and can't quite bring yourself to really want it to stop either. Great poem :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    I like the way u.write.
    Nice poem.