My heart melted when you opened the door and a smile lit your whole face upon seeing me and when you wrapped your tiny arms around my neck and yelled "my mummy" I was overwhelmed and awed at how much overpowering love I felt for you in that second alone. Those hours passed too fast for my liking, for I never wanted to leave your side again. Those minutes we spent together will always have a special place in my heart and I'll treasure them forever.
You'll never know how much your "Connor squeeze" or your "Connor kiss" meant to me, sweetheart. They are locked away inside mummy's mind where no one can take them from her and I will replay them over and over to help me through the days until I can see you again. I'm trying, baby. I'm trying so hard to become better for you and to be all that you need. I just need a little time, can you allow mummy that and forgive her for it?
I thought I knew the meaning of my heart breaking into pieces when I was hurt in past relationships ...now I know I never {truly} knew what being heartbroken being meant until today, when you gripped my hand so desperately and practically whispered "I want my mummy."
I want you too. More than anything in the world. And I'll have you again, I promise you that. I'm going to get better for you, I promise. You're my whole world and I'm fighting every second of every day to get well again. I just want to tell you, I promise that I love you.
