In the Garden, You and I

This is freakin crazy good I can see why it won!

I really like the many sides to this poem and how your voice comes across.

Excellent write!

Ben

Judge Comment:

I dearly love Abby's poetry!!!

This week she has crafted not only a beautiful nature piece, but she has intertwined a powerful and tender message of love and unity, which is a powerful gift of human nature.

The title she chose, brought me peaceful comfort-

Then the poem begins, and I was mesmerized! I adore the word usage and visual display, however for me, the creative angle of growing older in the "garden of life" has me sitting here with my mouth wide open!

I can't express the touching, comforting feelings I was left with- It's a poem that all readers can take with them and incorporate in their own hopes and dreams of their lives.

For this poem to be in nature is a perfect fit, however it also has love and life crafted in the entire piece.. Powerfully penned poem!! Well Done!

[Judging comment from week of 5/27/13]:

This is such a warm, amorous metaphor you use to describe this love growing. Automatically, I pictured a new relationship that has just been built on all the right things and not all the wrong things. I quite enjoyed reading this narrative, and the sentimental mementos you give to the read in:

"It's been a month
and we have bought a spade, some mulch,
some blood and bone."

It evokes emotion in the sense that relationships take time, they don't just sprout up overnight. But as you continue to express, there is always that hope to become higher and grow larger.
Loved the "farmer" feel to this and how personal you made it! The second stanza was so gentle in the image of the elderly couple. I just found such delight in all the specific images you gave... I feel like I'm reading from an eloquent storybook where these two characters have some sort of magic between them, just in the simple passion of gardening and in the gaze they share.

The third stanza is so soft-hearted in the sense of their bond together. I LOVE when authors kind of demonstrate a moment together shared in silence, where words don't have to communicate necessarily, just smelling that tenderness and being right before the sun set is luxury enough. I liked how you included how he talked about the cold, reminded me of casual talk about the weather... it doesn't always mean you're looking for something to say, just that you're comfortable enough to say the simple things.

The worry and concern they both hold about their garden is so evident and even more touching. They share a love in common but also their hearts that want to protect and survive another cold. Wonderful storyline, from starting out at the beginning of the day to falling asleep deeply, that "aged" feeling was well-penned and you made me relish the beauty of aging with creation and in that constant hope.

Such a cherished write!

Hehe sorry for semi going out of context, but this poem has so many things that i never thought about... and when I read it they just popped out and I couldn't help myself from writing them out. But the poem is amazing.

---

Judging Comment weekly contest May 27, 2013

The way this poem started immediately grabs my attention. First, it incites me to wonder what type of seeds Abracadabra is referring to and also to continue reading the poem in search for the answer.

Aside from that, I noticed she focuses on details and it is because of those details that I'm intrigue.

I wonder what is she referring with "the cautious creep of green"? Though, I have to admit that my attention is focus on the adjective "cautious," and well overall I think that by using those words she refers to plants growing.

Then she hits me with " it's been a month and we have bought a spade, some mulch, some blood, and bone" that line alone is intriguing. I can associate the use of "spade and mulch" with the mentioning of seeds in the starting line of the poem, but why buy blood and bone? rather why mentioned that in the poem if everything seems to be related to the seeds? Then it hit me, I have no knowledge of gardening. So I had to look that up. And even if this sounds silly, do they really add blood and bone to the soil?
I never thought about it, but it kind of makes sense. When one dies, our body becomes a part of the nutrients of the soil so adding the blood and bones may give the soil the nutrients, the nitrogen that needs, etc?now that line makes sense, but I couldn't help myself from picturing the blood and the bones... Then after reading into it, I found out that the blood meal is normally collected from slaughterhouses, dried up and pulverized into a powder... so the image kind of changed but I think I need to read more into that. Would vegetarians be creeped out by knowing that people may use blood and bone as fertilizer to grow the vegetables that who knows they might eat? Can the plants get infected from feeding from the blood and the bones if the animal had any disease? ( I couldn't help but share what I'm wondering at the moment even if some may find it silly or odd).

Anywho, back to the poem.

On this line,

" In the winter sunshine, the air shimmers with the heat of possibility."

^^ I am unsure whether "the heat" sounds good or if "a heat" would fit the content better.
The reason why I say this is because whenever I see the article "the" being used, I immediately tied it up with something that has already being mentioned where as "a" at least to me sounds like a good time to introduce it... like talking in a general term. Though, I guess "the" might be used as an specific. Aside from that I sense hope coming from this line so I suppose "the heat of possibility" may be that the seeds could perhaps get some sunshine rays and some heat...during that winter.

I think I can go on and on and talk about each line and I would probably take a long time to get to my point and in the process I might make everyone get bored. So overall, the seeds of love of the couple have been plotted, and are being fed, and are taken care with the illusion of seeing the seeds grow into plants that they will harvest together, however, there are obstacles on the way. One of those is learning how to take care of the seeds during the Winter so that they will survive.

By the way, I like the use of cold and warm. It is because of the contrast that one can spot the hope emerging from this piece. I guess the couple felt the coldness from each other ( no much communication) but it seems it was merely a winter cold that they experienced and nothing else.

Hehe sorry for semi going out of context, but this poem has so many things that i never thought about... and when I read it they just popped out and I couldn't help myself from writing them out. But the poem is amazing.

---

Judging Comment weekly contest May 27, 2013

The way this poem started immediately grabs my attention. First, it incites me to wonder what type of seeds Abracadabra is referring to and also to continue reading the poem in search for the answer.

Aside from that, I noticed she focuses on details and it is because of those details that I'm intrigue.

I wonder what is she referring with "the cautious creep of green"? Though, I have to admit that my attention is focus on the adjective "cautious," and well overall I think that by using those words she refers to plants growing.

Then she hits me with " it's been a month and we have bought a spade, some mulch, some blood, and bone" that line alone is intriguing. I can associate the use of "spade and mulch" with the mentioning of seeds in the starting line of the poem, but why buy blood and bone? rather why mentioned that in the poem if everything seems to be related to the seeds? Then it hit me, I have no knowledge of gardening. So I had to look that up. And even if this sounds silly, do they really add blood and bone to the soil?
I never thought about it, but it kind of makes sense. When one dies, our body becomes a part of the nutrients of the soil so adding the blood and bones may give the soil the nutrients, the nitrogen that needs, etc?now that line makes sense, but I couldn't help myself from picturing the blood and the bones... Then after reading into it, I found out that the blood meal is normally collected from slaughterhouses, dried up and pulverized into a powder... so the image kind of changed but I think I need to read more into that. Would vegetarians be creeped out by knowing that people may use blood and bone as fertilizer to grow the vegetables that who knows they might eat? Can the plants get infected from feeding from the blood and the bones if the animal had any disease? ( I couldn't help but share what I'm wondering at the moment even if some may find it silly or odd).

Anywho, back to the poem.

On this line,

" In the winter sunshine, the air shimmers with the heat of possibility."

^^ I am unsure whether "the heat" sounds good or if "a heat" would fit the content better.
The reason why I say this is because whenever I see the article "the" being used, I immediately tied it up with something that has already being mentioned where as "a" at least to me sounds like a good time to introduce it... like talking in a general term. Though, I guess "the" might be used as an specific. Aside from that I sense hope coming from this line so I suppose "the heat of possibility" may be that the seeds could perhaps get some sunshine rays and some heat...during that winter.

I think I can go on and on and talk about each line and I would probably take a long time to get to my point and in the process I might make everyone get bored. So overall, the seeds of love of the couple have been plotted, and are being fed, and are taken care with the illusion of seeing the seeds grow into plants that they will harvest together, however, there are obstacles on the way. One of those is learning how to take care of the seeds during the Winter so that they will survive.

By the way, I like the use of cold and warm. It is because of the contrast that one can spot the hope emerging from this piece. I guess the couple felt the coldness from each other ( no much communication) but it seems it was merely a winter cold that they experienced and nothing else.