There Was A Time

There was a time when I was little,
When I didn't feel any of this.
I could smile and laugh all of the time,
Nothing worried me.
Now I can't even say that,
I'm so numb and cold.
People always pretend to help,
When they couldn't care less.

There was a time when I was little,
When people taught me how to hate myself.
They showed me my flaws,
& said how wrong it was to be me.
From the get go I knew I was different,
I didn't fit in with the other kids.
An outcast,
Dying for someone to love me.

There was a time when I was little,
When I was oblivious to my surroundings.
I couldn't tell what was happening to me.
I couldn't feel any of the pain I do now.
My old self was happy.

There was a time when I was little,
When I could produce a beautiful smile.
The glow inside of me shined bright,
& no one could darken my mood.

Well I'm not little anymore,
In fact not at all.
I'm broken, numb, and lifeless.
I put on a fake smile for those around me,
And I am fully aware of what's going on.
I don't belong anywhere,
& I won't ever.
I guess this is me.
Don't worry those who hate me,
I hate myself too,
More than you ever could.