Music Box Dancer

My legs are numb so there
is no where else to go, but
every once in a while I get
swayed away by the broken
melodies that he plays..

..and I continue to be his prisoner.

- I connected a lot to this opening and was so interested to find out more about the relationship and the story of this. Straight away I got a sense of how much power this person holds over you and even though you know you deserve better, you find yourself falling back under that power. I like the line of "continue to be his prisoner" being separate, I think it emphasises the point that you know this, but yet do not know how to break free from it. From him. I found the title very appropriate because it is easy to imagine the little dancer being trapped, and holding on to the hope that someone will come back and open the box again.

With a winding key he turns to
resuscitate the beats in me, and
I feel alive only for a while before
he sees all of my imperfections
and walk away. But I always stay!

- I think walk away should be walks away here? because it is present tense? Again, it shows more about the power here and how you never walk away either, or move on, you always stay right there even though you know he won't ever stay. I get a sense of your heart being trapped within this person's love. As for the description, you kept it fitting very well to the title and the idea of the dancer in the box, very well done for that.

Round and around I go, locked
away only for his eyes to watch.
But it has been a while since the
last time he asked me to dance.

- I go back to you being a prisoner here, more control from him and mind games. I can picture someone in a cage and only with his permission may you leave, or speak, or even exist I suppose. I think the dancing is relevant because for me it implies hope, it implies that perhaps there was once a good relationship where he treated you well, and you are now grasping onto the hope that one day he might ask you to dance again.

Maybe he found another tune
that played perfectly into his
life. And maybe he lost that one
key that ever connected him
and me. But who knows?

- I like the metaphor of tune here for another person. And key for the love that was once there. The question at the end works well for me because it shows that we will never know, we just have to accept things and move on, even though our mind sometimes stays in that zone where we question everything and want a solid answer. I also felt the loss of love here from a child, like when a child abandons a toy they have had for years, but now sees the flaws the toy has, or they outgrow it.

It's so silent in here; the stillness
is slowly ending me. Perhaps I still
have the strength I never showed,
but whats keeping me here is that
promise of never letting go.

-whats =what's...what is.

- nice way to end, again, that tiny bit of hope that I picked up on earlier, a promise in your eyes is a promise which shows your loyalty. And even though it is lonely and heart-breaking for you to stay here alone, you just cannot make yourself walk away.... yet. But perhaps poem number 2 could show this person moving on, or looking back and knowing they did the right thing moving on. Or even another poem from the guy's point of view.

I enjoyed this story and think you could take a lot from it, and make more of it also. Very creative poem.

Sometimes we need to let go, sometimes we need to see what we have that we've neglected and sometimes, we need to see just how beautiful we are, whether told or not.

xx

Pretty good, sad to be the dancer in that music box. I like how you connected the ideas in relation to the box. Specially, the part about the key. Though, I have to say the ending is what I like the most.

This flows really well. I like the feeling, the vibes, everything!