Forgive my smile, forgive the gift
I sent for Christmas, the mountain
of sleepless nights mounting on
your shoulders, the cheek pressed
against a pillow, marks of me tattoed
on your cheek, side of your phone
pressed against the mattress, dirty
screens from sweaty fingerprints.
Forgive the day I was drunk
and sent my sobs, I needed
to show you the most beautiful
ugly parts of myself, like hands
clawing onto sultry sheets, like
a heart on the verge of breaking.
Forgive the poems I write for you
but never let you read, the sweetness
of my words is close to cruelty; I owe you
my true nature but only put the snow
from the mountaintop in your hands,
and it keeps melting while you tell me
that you've become numb to coldness.
And I keep asking you to forgive me;
forgive my last wish, I know you'd do
anything for me, so please
stop forgiving me.
