Please, don't

by Everlasting   Mar 16, 2014


What did you do?
I shot the sky with my rifle.
In seconds birds and birds
started to rain on houses,
Airplanes and airplanes
started to crash on trees,
And soon, the clouds
started to evaporate
into the universe
as it they were some type
of vapor being smoked
into the mouth
of chaos.

And when I least expected
what I knew of reality
was being sucked into the lungs
of a huge black hole
That continued to cough and cough
Blood on the streets
as people oppose resistance -
with their arms tighten around trees,
fighting against walls of deep
Inhalations,
that continued sucking
and sucking their bones
into the outer-space
as if their flesh was tabacco
meant to ease
someone into relaxation
but not anyone
else

no...

not anyone
else

please don't smoke

if you do
is like if you are smoking
everyone else's life - around you,
with your cigarette.

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Your poem is far more effective and conveying the message. I could only picture a small child surrounded by rings of smoke while begging for fresh air..excellent!

  • 10 years ago

    by LittleMsPink

    The message of this poem is so beautiful and true. I love how this poem is so descriptive and the imagery is great, different images came popping out my mind while reading this, good job

  • 10 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    Great job!

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow, I love the meaning in the poem, and the message the stands clear.

    It reminds me of the TV adverts when the small child is breathing in the smoke, and they are pleading with their parents to stop smoking. The children are not really aware of the damage it causes themselves, they focus more on knowing it can make their parents ill.

    I think it highlights an important issue in society, one that is growing bigger, and I think your layout works really well to break the highlighted points up.

    your ending is brilliant, showing how one persons choice, also affects others, and this is not just with smoking, this is just with everything. It always affects someone else.

    nice job

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    There is not a lot I can say here because you said it all. The title I really like because you are begging someoneto not do something harmful to others or themselves. The mmetaphor ls you used is great as well because it holds a lot of truth. Smoking does kill the world around us and there is nothing we can do really. The people in the world nowadays are really set in their ways. I liked the line "blood on the street". Each cigarette is like a smoking gun. They will keep pulling the trigger and sadly people will die someday. Anyways. Great message and writing!

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