You are the water, I am the land.
Boats sneak past your conscious
while I am too shy to venture out.
Life has been guarded for me,
as two feet that travel in sure steps
for I am versed in sand and shore,
not in the swaying movement of waves.
Yet you always try to persuade me,
spitting out a life jacket
because you know I cannot keep
Written for Baby Rainbow's prompt challenge in the main forums.
MaryAnne designed such a pretty small poem here, and I had to highlight it this week. What a dazzler. Small poems need to be packed with a punch and she has done that and more here with this poem.
I was left with such a feeling in my heart as I read this poem. It is very difficult to take that step forward in life, to "leave the sandy shore and sail away" and she captivated me with this metaphoric message of beauty. Very pretty poem this week by MaryAnne!!
I love this poem. Specially when I read it in the contest as you finished posting it. Though, right now I have a bit of a critique. Rather something that is revolving around my head. The title says "lighthouse" so I am confused if the one narrating is the lighthouse or the land? In some occasions, I thought it was the lighthouse but in others the land. I mean I always read it as if it was just the land speaking to the water. And the water trying to persuade the land to sink in it, but makes more sense if it was the lighthouse. I think.
I am not sure how to explain myself, I'll try to come back and see if I can make sense out of myself. Regardless of it. Congrats on the win. I truly enjoyed the creativity of this piece.
6 years ago
by Tara Kay
Congratulations on the win! I loved the intensity in this piece, it was short but the emotion and rawness spoke volumes. This was really well written and well deserved to win. As always, you amaze me :) x