Battling The Bear

I loved the strength and vulnerability, played out well.

A struggle that a lot of people might not know about is the animal inside of us, or beast or something we are ashamed to show others. I get this, the bear seems to be your "demon" that you are struggle to break yourself from. Your wife or ex wife fears this side of you because no one can control the anger that sprouts from this. You would do anything for this person, it is clear and that is sweet. Agreeing with saffie here, this poem is raw, but it stands out to me because of the way you emote in it. The feelings are forefront here and nothing else, sadness limits happiness and the love you have, but no matter what that love will be there. 5/5

Truly tragic. The whole poem just filled with emotions that are so powerful and raw (like Saffie mentioned) that blow anyone away if not grounded to the ground. I love the last stanza since it ties the whole poem together, my advise for this delima would be to take it slow make her feel and let her know that you love her bit by bit that's how you'll get her back. Good luck hun! 5/5

-Mori

Do you ever feel like you can't do anything right?
that no matter what you do you always subside?
^^
Great way to draw the readers in by starting your piece with rhetorical questions - allowing the reader to enter your mind with such in depth questions - providing them with the opportunity to self reflect upon their own lives.
These questions truly are problems effect us all - most people are unable to reflect upon these actions in this way and usually tend to blame others when the fault is actually intrinsic - It takes a deeply strong personality to admit that they can be wrong and to actually reflect upon their actions in such manner - truly powerful awareness here Justin!

Yeah that's me, a walking disaster
I don't dare move, I don't dare live.
The only thing I do is make mistakes and plague my fate.
^^
Such powerful words utilised here! Disaster, dare, live and plague - each surfacing negative connotations centralising the fact that you feel miserable and that no matter what you do in life these mistakes always follow every path you take and linger in every crevasse like a haunting shadow.

I would love to chase the bear away for you and I,
but looking in this mirror I see that I'm the bear
and I'm your fear.
^^
Amazing way to title such a feeling - linking to an animal - very impactful technique - it makes the reader venture into this journey along side you - a bear -often to fearful of, yet there are teddy bears that children admire that are cuddly and cute - here you choose the fear and extend upon it - I agree with Saffie - they also can be loyal. I find your technique of a mirror here is a great powerful representation as mirrors can also reflect your own personal inner feelings, guilts and regrets.

I've ruined you and I.
I can't do a damn thing right.
This constant struggle between us
is a tug-of-war which I create.
Why am I always left in this broken state?
^^
Such a heart retching stanza - broken relationships are so heart tearing and the hurt seeps out to the reader though your words! I love how you ended with a question here - like it is summing up the whole stanza in one question.

I've got no one else to blame but me,
I hear you screaming which I hate,
I wish to fix it but I'm the one causing this painful fate.
I chase the bear away but you're still afraid.
Cause deep down it's me who damages your emotions,
breaking this devotion.
^^
Here you are playing two roles - the role of the heart breaker (blaming your own self)
and the role of the caring boyfriend that wants to fix everything up as the hurt caused is not only on her part but yours - her agony is reflected in your own heart - almost like you yourself are wearing her pains and screams - yet you are cautious to help as you blame yourself for the initial hurt and that getting more involved will bury you deeper in loves painful and heart breaking game.

There's no life without you,
you're the love of my life,
the one I desire.
Someone I want as a wife.
I'm sorry I'm not a bear hunter,
I wish I was.
Please come back to me,
so we can reconciliate this disruptive complicated slate.

^^
Change reconciliate to reconcile here
I love the link again to the bear yet here you make yourself wish you were the bear hunter - killing this part of you that you wish would stop taking over you - as it is the only part of you that you feel distances you from your one true love.
I hope all works out with you in the end Justin

5/5

Absolutely love it!