Regrets

Regrets
By Mark Spencer

Here I lay, awaiting my death,
Counting down to my final breath.
My mind is so full of regrets,
It dwells on my misdeeds and debts.

Through the years I lost touch with friends,
And the wound this caused never mends.
My best friend died six years ago.
Until last year, I didn't know.

Lord I wish we hadn't lost touch.
But I guess I'm asking too much.
I just wish we could turn back time,
So that I could undo this crime.

But some seeds we cannot un-sow,
With one hundred breaths left to go.
And before I get down to one,
Lord I'd so love to see my son.

He hasn't come to visit me.
I wasn't a good dad you see.
I asked far too much from the boy,
My demands took away his joy.

He just wanted to have a say,
To navigate life his own way.
And isn't that everyone's goal,
To become our own unique soul?

Once upon a time it was mine.
But I let my dad redefine
The person I'd grow up to be,
'Til I couldn't recognize me.

I wish I had each of these back.
Then maybe we'd both be on track.
And perhaps before life is done,
I could say goodbye to my son.

Happiness was all my boy sought.
It's a goal that I once forgot.
To become a clone of my dad,
I gave up the dreams that I had.

And now here I lay in this bed,
In eighty four breaths I'll be dead.
And the trauma of my regrets
Is giving my body the sweats.

I wish I had followed my dreams,
And sailed my ship on different streams.
I wish I hadn't worked so much,
Or let it cause me to lose touch,

With friends that I had long ago,
A son I never got to know.
And now I have run out of time,
With just me to blame for this crime.

And my guilt will join me in death.
I'm down to my last sixteen breaths.
I never thought I'd die this way;
All alone on my final day.

And as my last breath fills my chest.
I am still unable to rest.
For the spirit never forgets.
Death cannot erase my regrets.

What happens next, I can't say.
You'll see for yourself one fine day.
Death is what the journey begets.
Last breaths are no place for regrets.