Your Footsteps and Apathies

Judging Comment

There is a sense of strength in the way this piece was written - a strength that rarely exists within pieces of this tone, but it turned out wonderfully and helped create a voice and a very unique taste of imagery - it's gorgeous. Really, this piece leaves an interesting impact on the reader and it keeps them wondering what exactly happened while still relating in their own individual way. Phenomenally penned.

Another beauty you have penned. Your poems have a softness to it that just touches the reader. Congrats on the HM!

Don't hate me,
my poetry
if I always write about your footsteps.

^ I think here you could say "Don't hate me or" it would flow better I feel. But this is such a strong start to the poem here. It is as if you were pleading with someone not to leave a alone or not to hurt you at all. You write about how you feel and if someone doesn't like that, they shouldn't be in your life.

I just want to be always near you;
but the tide of your ocean
always carries me far away from you,
and I am just a frustrated scientist
that can't even calculate
your surface tension
and the theories why you hate me.

^ oh wow this stanza holds unique lines the embody the way you feel about this person. I love how the first stanza ties into this in a hidden way. I can just imagine the footprints on the sand being washed away by the ocean ties. Beautiful metaphor. The tide always puts you back to where you started and it becomes more difficult to swim through the current.

I want to believe it's not hatred,
just apathy;
but I am stuck in that mid-summer's night dream
and the reminiscences of the way
we walked barefooted
in the city full of pines
one tranquil night --
our feet fresh with the smell of strawberries
and the memories that glisten
with the sounds of your footsteps.

OMFG, This imagery and metaphor, it is perfect for the twist in the story, and it seems here that you are remembering the good times you had with this person. Hatred is such an ugly thing to hold onto and it also seems that the good and bad times are a collection of one. This person seems to feel guilty about losing this person like it is their fault.

No matter how many times
I will be alone,
I will get hurt,
no one will care for me,
no one will ask me if I'm okay,
and I will be taken for granted,
I will remain in your shadow
for me to hear
the promises
that your footsteps harboured
eversince that 17th day of February
hundreds of apathies ago.

Dashiel, this ending makes me want to weep and it makes the readers sympathize with the author, you have done a great job in tugging at the readers heart strings. This poem is amazing. 5/5

Nominated as well, I am so glad you are back here, will give a proper comment later <3