The Fall Of Icarus

Intrigued by the mention of Icarus. I loved reading that story about him and hear it mentioned often by other writers or even in songs.

"Never let go of the heart
you once embraced
no matter what happens."

- Beautiful opening lines. Simply written yet they encourage the reader to remember their roots, stay with what they know and the "heart" of life seemingly. A quick suggestion? Add punctuation after the second line, maybe a comma or dash so there's a pause for more effect.

"Strings of Haiku
and the art that is lost
in the subtle weeping of Manila
read the verses of Proverbs 21:1
to an untitled poetry."

- Not sure if "an untitled poetry" makes the most sense. Maybe change "poetry" to "poem"? I did look up Proverbs 21:1. Great reference to Scripture. "The king's heart is in the hands of the Lord..."

"I may have appeared like Icarus to you.
And my scribbled thoughts
are never enough to calm
the incessant clamour in my head."

- Really like your use of "incessant" here. And, again, the tie-in to Icarus. How there's that curiosity present, and it's almost like you are stating this is just who you are, your mind constantly active. It makes me think sometimes we have a million thoughts it's hard to follow.

"That lonely alleyway
on the 17th day of February
makes me think so much
of the day when trances
had a brittle truce
with the flowing stars."

- I would re-word "17th day of February" to "February 17th" just for a shorter verse, but that's up to you. It's always interesting to me when poets use specific dates. I've done so myself. Another suggestion would be to edit "makes me think so much of". Instead of "makes me think", use a more specific, vivid verb?

"I won't mind being greeted by Lilacs
in this sunspots-filled road
while Dandelions grow
in the parchment of my spine
that withers with time."

- "Sunspots" should be singular?
- Gorgeous line: "parchment of my spine that withers with time"

"An artisan with blanket of solitude
found the left wax wing of Icarus
on his 2nd cup of coffee --
finding only bittersweet melancholies
on the first one."

- "blanket" should be "a blanket"?
- Neat inclusion of coffee
- The ending makes me think how Icarus jumped without heeding the warning of his father, how we may do that in life too.

Thoughtful write! Take care.

Never let go of the heart
you once embraced
no matter what happens.
^
Heartfelt opening stanza, basically saying that even if things happen in the future that you may or may not be able to control to not let the love that that person had for you ever fade away! Really beautiful honey!

Strings of Haiku
and the art that is lost
in the subtle weeping of Manila
read the verses of Proverbs 21:1
to an untitled poetry.
^
Nice mention of poetry within a poem lol it was funny since I suck at Haikus on top of that you have the word poetry within a poetry form it's funny to me but I do love the fact that you put God in the poem and while I haven't looked up the verse I will soon (like tomorrow). Truly unique and creative how you did the stanza.

I may have appeared like Icarus to you.
And my scribbled thoughts
are never enough to calm
the incessant clamour in my head.
^
Beautiful imagery I find it cute, the second and third lines and it's beautiful I really did find it beautiful! :) I am a secret romantic and I enjoyed reading this!!!

That lonely alleyway
on the 17th day of February
makes me think so much
of the day when trances
had a brittle truce
with the flowing stars.
^
Huh so that's a special date, awe it's sad to read this stanza it has a melochony tone to it and I'm not going to elaborate on it.

I won't mind being greeted by Lilacs
in this sunspots-filled road
while Dandelions grow
in the parchment of my spine
that withers with time.
^
Nice visual there and it makes me think of life how our bodies decompose and who knows who will be walking or driving on our leftover bodies. Mind bulging! Also awe sad stanza.

An artisan with blanket of solitude
found the left wax wing of Icarus
on his 2nd cup of coffee --
finding only bittersweet melancholies
on the first one.
^
Now I understand why James nominated this poem I find it overall stunning, mind bulging and emotionally like a roller coaster with it's beautiful and unique way of trapping the readers attention! :) 5/5

-Moria Bella Bair-

Nominated!