Um amor infinito

I am going to pick shadows
before it ends.
you never told me
about this silence sitting
between us.
you never said i would have
to wait a whole reincarnation
to see what is memorable.
yes, i miss something
i can't name and yet
and i know i lost it long ago
not because i chose to lose
but because i had to.
here i am paying for my crimes
as i read another stupid message
on my phone.
here i am ready to watch the night,
feeling less, feeling less.
the day has cursed me.

my shoulder aches,
my breast aches.
but no pain is like the one
i inherited from heavens.
it is a burden, a dead word
written across my eyes.
Ireland is unreachable
for a mortal like me.
everything is unreacheable
and divine.
everything is here and gone.

you never told me
life would be this:
a refined lament
and i wasn't prepared
to listen to Madredeus
singing Um Amor Infinito
again.
but i don't believe my ears.
but i don't believe my heart.

karla bardanza