Locked in.

by Darren   Mar 27, 2016


As more voices intruded
poked then prodded
tore at my ears
my ideas

My daydream arrived
galloping via unicorn
stopped just in front of me
touching distance.

I opened it like a window
stepped right in

calmness attacked me immediately

sitting by a shimmering lake
an image reflected half my age
children laughing over yonder
years of ideas strolling by
peace handing me a menu
choices dancing before my eyes

a beautiful blue sky
sapphire like in its brilliance
birds await my decision
forecasting indecision
yet without malice

I lay back in golden sand
as fine as a memory foam beach
paddling my arms like oars
not finding even a single fag end

a gentle breeze kisses my skin
whispering 'stay here'
sunlight toasts my ineptitude
my worthless aura creeps away
a rolling rainbow mist.

I turn slowly
spot the window
my way into this karma neutral zone
closing it tight I spot the previous myself
gazing in from the other side
locked into a daydream.

10


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judge Comments:

    I truly admire Darren's creativity and intensity within this piece.

    It's written with great elegance, and with such depth...

    The metaphoric tones within each stanza has me captivated from

    Start to finish!! Just wonderful!

  • 4 years ago

    by Brenda

    Darren, awesome write! Congratulations on your win!

    • 4 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Brenda

  • 4 years ago

    by Em

    Hi Darren,

    I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. The imagery you put in is amazing.
    Had to have a little chuckle at the unicorn part but only because I secretly like them.

    Daydreams are very peculiar aren't they and putting them into writing well you did it great.

    Em

    • 4 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Em,

      appreciate the nomination also.

  • 4 years ago

    by Darren

    Thanks again to Ben, I have removed all trace of the word 'and'. I think this has improved this piece and it is quite rare I edit anything. Maybe I should do this more.

  • 4 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Truly mesmerising. I loved every word and image that this poem conjured. The idea of voices tearing at your ears and ideas. Daydreams arriving via unicorn. stepping into a daydream as if it were simply through a window. The feelings of calmness found in sitting by a shimmering lake. Still water I always find calming.

    Being handed a menu of choices, yet birds already knowing decisions will be delayed
    laying in fine sand as fine as memory foam and the comment about not finding the usual fag in the sand. How many times on a summers day laying in the sand do we hear the whisper of the breeze stay here.
    closing the window on that peaceful wonderful place of daydream.
    A masterpiece of imagery beautifully portrayed

    • 4 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks Milly,

      appreciate your comment

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