Dawning Hope

"Running through the streets of the soul
where leaves sleep in tousled heaps
my feet skitter wildly over broken bottle dreams."

I must say, I absolutely love how it reads aloud, the slight internal rhyme of streets, heaps and dream, it adds so much to the flow of this piece, not to mention set the initial imagery for this poem.

"The nightmare closes in."

This is a slight departure from the above stanza, it's a single verse and doesn't follow in the rhyme scheme establish above. It gets the reader wondering where this piece is going.

"And as its bloated fingers scrabble towards
the embers of my dying soul,
a flock of ravens beats its wings in mad defiance,
claws extended,
raking away the midnight blanket to
reveal the hazy dawn's first light."

I can't help but notice there's no pronounced internal rhyme in this stanza, which isn't an issue but thought I'd note it since I found it interesting. I also think the 'mad' prior the 'defiance' in 4th-last verse can be dropped, it detracts from the flow of the piece and it seems a bit redundant since defiance will suffice for what you're aiming. I really love the sheer imagery in this stanza, it's a sharp contrast from the first stanza (which had imagery, but it seemed to be more poetic and refined, whereas the imagery in this stanza is more story-like, deeply rooted).

"Another day begins."

I really like this ending.

Overall: I must say it's a shame that this poem went unnoticed, it's a great write! I absolutely love the pure poetry of "hazy dawn's first light", it still resonates with me after reading this piece. Which brings me to my next point, absolutely love the title, it makes more sense after reading this piece and ties everything together. Really enjoyed this piece!

~ Senyru