Another Free Verse

Have you ever wanted to talk?
Messaged someone only to delete it?
I have. Several times in fact.
I just wanted someone to stop me;
Talk me out of it.
But I didn't want to be the downer
Bring them down from their high.
They were having fun
I couldn't ruin their night
Who would want to talk to me,
instead of being out
No one. That's who.
People are meant to have fun.
I am not worth it.
I deserve to be in Hell
After-all; I am the one who created it for myself.
Alone in the dark, not a single noise.
I just wish I could have sent that message
The blood spilt could have been avoided.
But I'm gutless and I'm weak
I write my message in several ways
In the end I always just hit delete.
I am sorry for any pain
To you which I have caused
This is me saying goodbye,
good luck as you move forward
I am staying here, in this time, this one place
I can not come with you
Not with this empty face, heart and soul.