Prisoner

by Thelma   Nov 27, 2016


I had a nightmare
last night that my hair
was set on fire.
The blue flames were
invading my guts,
burning through my
chest, then withdrawing
fast, only to
cover me again.
It took twenty four
minutes for my
soul to leave
my body.
I died.

I sit down
and the screams
electrify me.

They burned the house of that widow last week,
it was the smallest house in town.

I look at my hands.
I imagine my bones being fractured,
a bone by a bone.
What could be happening now in
those dark rooms?

A finch hopping on the balcony distracts me.

I sit down and
feel my ribs, still intact.

9


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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    This was awesome

  • 3 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Wow!!

    Well done indeed.

    Excellent suggestions from Hellon. Just polishing a wonderful poem.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 3 years ago

      by Thelma

      Thank you, Mr Darcy. :)

  • 3 years ago

    by Hellon

    I was sucked in by this poem because of its rawness which I totally liked. I have a couple of suggestions which you can consider or not...

    I had a nightmare
    last night that my hair
    was set on fire.
    The blue flames were

    ^^ the is not necessary

    invading my guts,
    burning through my
    chest, then withdrawing
    fast, only to
    cover me again.

    ^^

    I'd have a break here to let the reader digest what you're saying.

    It took twenty four
    minutes for my
    soul to leave
    my body.

    Again..I'd leave a space here...

    I died.

    I sit down
    and the screams
    electrify me.

    They burned the house of that widow last week,
    it was the smallest house in town.

    I look at my hands.
    I imagine my bones being fractured,
    a bone by a bone.
    What could be happening now in
    those dark rooms?

    A finch hopping on the balcony distractes *distracts *me.

    I sit down and
    feel my ribs, still intact.

    This poem had a spooky feel to it...was it a dream? or perhaps another experience in some other life???

    • 3 years ago

      by Thelma

      Thank you so much for your suggestions, Hellon.

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