A regular day at his place

by Thelma   Oct 15, 2016


The electric current is cut off. (Four
hours of darkness, two hours of
light. That's the new system, it was applied
today, they
change it monthly.)
We sit cross-legged in a dimly-lit
room, lit by the remains of afternoon sunshine
and street lamps. The muggy air smells
of garlic and turmeric. The city is asleep early,
no feast, no New Years Eve, no children
battling outside.
I inhale loudly to break the silence, but you say
nothing, and I want to kiss you. I want to use this
darkness and let you

feel my body in
undulation.
I want to make love to you,

fearlessly.
I want us to be light and noise
and revolution, in the middle
of this slum.

    report violation
12


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by Sai

    You
    Can
    Write

    Love the sound of "garlic and turmeric". Also the way you utilised a break here:

    "I want to use this
    darkness and let you

    feel my body in
    undulation."

    Is exquisite. My favourite part of the entire piece right there. Keep it up, lovely.

  • 9 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Judging Comment:

    An absolutely wonderfully written poem that rehashes the idea of love in a really unique way. I've often seen the theme of darkness be utilized to incorporate a sense of horror, this reverses that by using it as the context for love. It flows so naturally and paints a magnificent image of beauty in something ugly.

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    This was a unique and fun formatted poem by Thelma!

    I truly adore and admire unique poems and this piece grabbed me from start to finish!

    This visual display was incredible, the eyes can see far more than words can express!

    The ending is what really got me the most, to grab that powerful moment and make due with what you have and where you are at that very moment! Powerful poem!

  • 9 years ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    "I want us to be light and noise
    and revolution"

    ^I absolutely adored these lines! Who needs to pay for electricity when you can stimulate it naturally.

    I appreciated the simplicity of this piece, created such an in depth picture. Lovely indeed!

  • 9 years ago

    by Trish

    Very visual writing, congratulation

Read All Comments (14)

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