My Darkness, My Friend. (Poetry on mania)

I try not to open my eyes,

Because the thought of everything is too hard to see.

I can shut out the world this way….

Including everyone I have ever loved,

And everyone that has ever loved me.

 

I’ve become one with my darkness.

It has a gentle caress,

That can ease me to sleep.

It’s soundless.

All but for the droning hum of blood

That is circulating inside of me.

Inside a relentless and anxious mind

That is always searching for reprieve.

 

I search for darkness,

In hope to seek answers.

But all I’m left with is,

An erratic heartbeat that refuses to do anything,

But beat to the sound of lifeless life,

That is no longer capable of love.

 

But what I’ve come to learn is…

When you close your eyes,

And quiet your mind with the darkness,

-In all actuality and truth,-

You are really opening up your eyes.

You are opening up your soul,

To a world you never even knew existed.

And it allows you to see for the very first time.

As if to quietly whisper,

“I’ve always been here with you. Your suffering is not in vain.”

 

To become one with your darkness,

Is the most terrifying place to lie still in.

But I’ve noticed that,

If you allow yourself to open up,

And allow the possibilities that only the darkest places of your soul holds the answers to,

Then you just might find the solution,

That your soul is pleading for you to seek.

You just might find an esoteric light,

In places that you’ve never even known existed.

Or were always to scared to open up and see.